Amy, our daughter-in-law , was out shopping while our son Peter stayed home with their infant son . In the supermarket checkout line , a woman behind Amy asked ,
“How old is your baby?”
“six weeks,” Amy answered, surprised .
“But how did you know I have a baby?”
“Well,” the woman said, smiling , “ I’ve been watching you rock your grocery cart.”
-PETER KEBER-
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Laughter , The Best Medicine
BARR Y AND WILL were having a slow round of golf because the two female players in front of them managed to get into every sand trap and rough on the course. Finally , Barry said, “I’ll go and ask if we can play through.”
He walked up the fairway , got halfway to the ladies, then turned around and came back, his face bright red. “ I can’t do it,’’ ha said . “One of them is my wife and the other is my mistress! You ‘d better go instead.”
Will walked towards the ladies , got halfway there, turned around and came back. “ Small world,” he said.
DOT HAMMONS
Getting a new girlfriend is like joining the Army . You get a new haircut and new clothes , and all information is given to you on a need-to-know basis.
ADAM FERRARA.
He walked up the fairway , got halfway to the ladies, then turned around and came back, his face bright red. “ I can’t do it,’’ ha said . “One of them is my wife and the other is my mistress! You ‘d better go instead.”
Will walked towards the ladies , got halfway there, turned around and came back. “ Small world,” he said.
DOT HAMMONS
Getting a new girlfriend is like joining the Army . You get a new haircut and new clothes , and all information is given to you on a need-to-know basis.
ADAM FERRARA.
Monday, June 15, 2009
HEAR AND THERE
My wife and I, both a little hard of hearing , were watching golf on TV. I turned to my wife of some 50 years and said , “ I n my next life, I’m going to be rich and play all those beautiful courses, with their great bars and dining and dancing areas.”
My wife quickly responded, “ How will you be able to manage that with your bad legs ? You can barely walk.”
“I said in my next life,” I replied
“Oh,” said . “ I thought you said , ‘With my next wife.’”
-R.G.CORNWELL.
My wife quickly responded, “ How will you be able to manage that with your bad legs ? You can barely walk.”
“I said in my next life,” I replied
“Oh,” said . “ I thought you said , ‘With my next wife.’”
-R.G.CORNWELL.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Ordering Up a Healthy Diet.
IT’s festival time, and restaurants dish out specialities. But that shouldn’t mean blowing out your diet. Here are some ideas for staying healthy while dining out:
Skip the buffet
Before going out choose a restaurant that offers healthy menu options. All-you-can- eat buffets and fast-food joints are diet –killers.
Choose steamed , not fried.
Look for dishes described as fresh , roasted , grilled or steamed. Avoid items with the words fried, creamy or extra-crispy.
Put it on the side
For an appetizer , look for broth-based soups, rather than cream. Apply any salad dressing very lightly .
Go ahead and ask
Don’t be shy-ask the waiter if the restaurant offers low-fat items, or if regular menu options can be cooked for you with less oil.
Spilt the difference.
Fresh fruit is the healthiest dessert. If you can’t resist something sweet, share it with a friend .
Move it out of sight
Stop eating when you’re full . Ask the waiter to clear your plate so you aren’t tempted to keep on nibbling.
Pace yourself.
Not eating all day so you can eat more at night is a bad idea-it encourages extravagant ordering and fast eating.
Watch the booze
Alcohol is high in calories, so determine the maximum amount you’ll consume before you start and stick to it. Avoid liqueurs and cream with coffee.
Skip the buffet
Before going out choose a restaurant that offers healthy menu options. All-you-can- eat buffets and fast-food joints are diet –killers.
Choose steamed , not fried.
Look for dishes described as fresh , roasted , grilled or steamed. Avoid items with the words fried, creamy or extra-crispy.
Put it on the side
For an appetizer , look for broth-based soups, rather than cream. Apply any salad dressing very lightly .
Go ahead and ask
Don’t be shy-ask the waiter if the restaurant offers low-fat items, or if regular menu options can be cooked for you with less oil.
Spilt the difference.
Fresh fruit is the healthiest dessert. If you can’t resist something sweet, share it with a friend .
Move it out of sight
Stop eating when you’re full . Ask the waiter to clear your plate so you aren’t tempted to keep on nibbling.
Pace yourself.
Not eating all day so you can eat more at night is a bad idea-it encourages extravagant ordering and fast eating.
Watch the booze
Alcohol is high in calories, so determine the maximum amount you’ll consume before you start and stick to it. Avoid liqueurs and cream with coffee.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
BIG MEALS CAUSE CRAZY DREAMS
Don’t blame dinner- food can’t make you dream more.
It just seems that way because digesting a heavy meal can disrupt your slumber , waking you during your nightly phase of intense, or REM , dreaming.
Other factors that fragment sleep are anxiety, caffeine, alcohol, and sleeping pills (many can’t get you through a full eight hours).
It just seems that way because digesting a heavy meal can disrupt your slumber , waking you during your nightly phase of intense, or REM , dreaming.
Other factors that fragment sleep are anxiety, caffeine, alcohol, and sleeping pills (many can’t get you through a full eight hours).
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
The Car That Keeps You Awake .
Vehicles of the future may keep an eye on their drivers, rousing you if you start to nod off, thanks to new technology that can scan your face for signs of drowsiness.
FaceLab uses two cameras built into the dashboard to identify key points on your face
(it’s unfazed by sunglasses or a head turned to one side) creating a 3D picture which it compares to a computer model. By analyzing the movement of your head, the rate you blink and the angle of your gaze it monitors progressive drowsiness . If you’re in danger of falling asleep, the system could trigger alarms or a flashing red light –which could refuse to stop until the car did. If the system works and is adopted by the industry, it could help save the innumerable lives lost each year from falling asleep at the wheel.
FaceLab uses two cameras built into the dashboard to identify key points on your face
(it’s unfazed by sunglasses or a head turned to one side) creating a 3D picture which it compares to a computer model. By analyzing the movement of your head, the rate you blink and the angle of your gaze it monitors progressive drowsiness . If you’re in danger of falling asleep, the system could trigger alarms or a flashing red light –which could refuse to stop until the car did. If the system works and is adopted by the industry, it could help save the innumerable lives lost each year from falling asleep at the wheel.
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