21 Biggest Mistakes Friends Make

Are you being a good friend? Do you have friends that you appreciate? Would you like to improve your friendships? Is your loving partner your best friend?
As a Marriage, Family Therapist for 27 years, I helped many people resolve issues with their friends and create healthier friendships. The same principles apply to romantic relationships. Ideally, your loving partner is your best friend.
The following are some mistakes friends make and how to improve the relationship.
1) Mistake: Try to fix the person. Solution: Ask the person if they want your help and the kind of assistance they wish to have. Some examples are to just listen, or tell them what you would do in their situation.
2) Mistake: Be impatient. Solution: Be patient. We all appreciate when others are patient with us.
3) Mistake: Be unforgiving. Solution: Forgive others when they blunder. We all make mistakes.
4) Mistake: Discount or judge the other person's feelings. Solution: Accept all their feelings and help them express them constructively.
5) Mistake: Take personally what your friend says. Solution: Understand that what people say or do is a reflection of them and not you.
6) Mistake: Be indifferent when they are upset. Solution: Comfort the other person when they are hurting by being compassionate and reassuring, listening, giving them a hug, etc.
7) Mistake: Tell people what to do. Solution: Help them solve their own problems with win-win solutions.
8) Mistake: Be jealous of their success. Solution: Be happy for them when they experience success and reach their goals.
9) Mistake: Drop them when you are romantically involved. Solution: Continue to connect with your friends even when you are in romantic relationships.
10) Mistake: Withhold your thoughts and feelings. Solution: Tell them your thoughts and feelings in a loving way. Take responsibility for them by beginning your sentences with "I feel" or "I think."
11) Mistake: Break your agreements Solution: Keep your agreements, or inform them before that you wish to change the agreement.
12) Mistake: Do not feel worthy or deserving of the friendships. Solution: Realize that you deserve loving, supportive friends.
13) Mistake: Take them for granted. Solution: Let them know that they are important to you and you are grateful for their friendship.
14) Mistake: Expect them to help you overcome your loneliness. Solution: When you love and like yourself, you are not dependent on others to fulfill your needs.
15) Mistake: Bombard them with your problems. Solution: Ask them first if they are open to hearing a problem you are having and keep it short and to the point. Then focus on the solution.
16) Mistake: Be their leader or follower. Solution: See each other as two equally powerful people.
17) Mistake: Be too busy for friends. Solution: Set aside quality time for your nurturing, supportive friends.
18) Mistake: Try to make them just like you. Solution: Honor who they are and be aware of how you complement each other.
19) Mistake: Be disrespectful and hurtful. Solution: Respect them and be kind.
20) Mistake: Be willing to take abuse. Solution: Love yourself enough to remove yourself from abusive relationships.
21) Mistake: Expect them to be your therapist. Solution: If you need professional help, seek a therapist.

http://ezinearticles.com/?21-Biggest-Mistakes-Friends-Make

5 Biggest Job-Applicant Mistakes

Interviewing for a job can be a stressful experience. The applicant wants to make the best impression but often isn't sure exactly what to do.

DiversityInc interviewed recruiting experts from companies ranked among The DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity^® list to hear what mistakes are made and how to best ensure a successful interview process.

Here are the five biggest mistakes job applicants make and how not to commit them:

No. 1: Not researching the company before the interview

Researching the company's web site, its statements on diversity management, benefits and the requirements of the job for which you are applying are all advisable. But Joseph Hammill, manager of talent acquisition for corporate human resources at Xerox Corp., No. 35 on The DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity list, adds that applicants should be more comprehensive in their research. Network with people already working at the company; call professional organizations the company is associated with, and ask any fellow college alumni who work at the company about their experience.

Thorough research will reveal what positions are available but moreover what type of employee the company wants, says Steve Bean, associate director forNorth America talent supply and human resources at Procter & Gamble, No. 11 on The DiversityInc Top 50 Companies for Diversity list.

"People need to understand the differences from company to company and be ready to address how they best fit the bill for a particular company," says Bean.

"Not knowing reveals itself in the interview process," says Tony Jenkins, market president for Central Florida and vice president of cultural competence and diversity for Blue Cross and Blue Shield of Florida, No. 32 on the Top 50 list. "Sometimes [the interviewer] asks questions around how [the applicant] would approach a problem and their answers do not relate to the company's business. You want to hear answers that relate to the company's business."

No. 2: Inability to articulate needs and desires

"Too many people don't spend time upfront understanding what they bring to the party and they might undersell their particular skills," says Bean. "People need to take time to say, 'Here's what's important to me by rank order.' That can be geography, level of pay, benefits, work/life balance, the type of work you get to do, or even what does the daily grind look like."

Companies are hiring because they either need to solve problems or have opportunities that require more employees, which is why the best applicants are those who can articulate how their experience is best for the particular position, says Hammill.

Michelle Kuranty, retail, financial-services staffing manager for Chase, agrees.

"Knowing what you want to do and applying for it is important because we see people ... apply to every job, and when they're called they don't know what job they applied for," says Kuranty. "That's not professional." Chase is a subsidiary of JPMorgan Chase, No. 15 on the Top 50.

"And many people say they did something on their résumé but then can't remember in the interview," adds Dan Tiernan, manager of national recruiting for Verizon, No. 12 on the Top 50.

"Interviewers ask open-ended questions to bring out an applicant's experiences or skill sets that apply directly to the job so you should be generally accurate to represent what's on your résumé," says Tiernan.

No. 3: Being unprofessional in the interview

Of course, be early to all interviews and don't bring food unless asked to do so. At Verizon, one of Tiernan's recruiters told him about an applicant who walked into the interview with a sandwich in hand. Upon reaching the recruiter's office, the applicant placed the sandwich on top of the recruiter's desk. When the recruiter asked the applicant what he planned to do with the sandwich, the applicant said he planned to eat the sandwich and asked if that would be a problem. Think he got the job?

Tiernan says that applicants often commit faux pas that can be excused among friends but that make them less desirable to recruiters. During summer months, people on the East Coast may have hay fever. Tiernan has seen incidents where an applicant dealing with hay fever or other allergies sneezed into their right hand and then put it out for a handshake.

"And it's hard not to screen a person out when you hear about their personal medical history and/or their family's medical history or their date from last night," says Tiernan. "Don't share personal information that's not germane to the job."

Another unprofessional faux pas is to speak ill of a current boss. Applicants do not persuade a recruiter to hire them when they complain that a boss micromanaged. It makes the recruiter think the micromanaging was needed.

No. 4: Demonstrating poor communication skills

"It's about being able to talk with confidence and expertise about who you are and why you're the best fit," says Kuranty. "That's communication skills."

Practice the basics of communication before going to the interview, listening and responding and not talking over the other person. Too many applicants over-talk and don't listen to the questions being asked of them.

"I've had people come in to an interview and all they want to do is talk and not listen at all," says Jenkins. "Within the first 10 to 15 minutes I've made up my mind ... At the start, I'm looking at body language and speaking style."

Hammill agrees that part of having a good interview is listening.

"You have to tell but you certainly don't want to blab on forever and miss a point," says Hammill. "The more you can get an interviewer to do some telling is a good sign."

But don't be dull or fear showing enthusiasm. Companies seek enthusiastic, focused, passionate recruits, says Jenkins.

"I can't put someone in front of customers who is lackadaisical or who has no passion," says Jenkins. "In today's competitive world, the person has to be passionate about the product and business and enthusiastic and show that."

No. 5: Not keeping the personal to yourself

With the proliferation of MySpace and other social-network web sites, people often think it harmless to include their social-network identification in their résumés or in an interview. But it is not harmless - too often what is posted on those sites does not demonstrate corporate professionalism.

"Don't dare put your social-network identification on your résumé or mention it in the interview," says Tiernan. "Some of them are a little bit over the edge as to what we want to know about the person."

Kuranty adds that applicants should make sure their voicemails reflect a professional attitude as well. When searching for a job, keep the outgoing message simple, such as who they've reached and that you'll return the call soon.

An applicant's e-mail address should also reflect a professional attitude. E-mail addresses often describe people's personal attributes. The e-mail addresses given to recruiters should simply state the professional name of the applicant.

Job interviewing can be a stressful experience. But if an applicant conducts the proper research into the company, his or her own experience and desires, and a professional demeanor, the chances of being hired are greatly increased.

http://www.diversityinc.com/content/1757/article

8 Ways to Avoid Medical Mistakes

Chances are you or your loved ones will need to be hospitalized at some point. Reduce the chances of a medical mistake by following Dr. Oz's  eight steps.

Prevent Infections

Dr. Oz says there's a straightforward advantage to staying infection-free in a hospital. "You're in an environment that has sick people in it who have infections themselves," he says. "It's so easy to spread to you."

• Ask people to wash their hands before touching you.
• Keep hand sanitizer by your bed.
• Try to avoid bacteria-promoting items, like flowers and jewelry.
• Ask doctors to clean their stethoscopes. "Did you ever think where the stethoscope was before he examined you?" Dr. Oz says. "It was on someone else's chest, and that same bacteria gets carried to you."
• Clean television remotes.
• Ask a doctor to remove his tie, or else tuck it into his shirt. "How many men here have ever washed their tie?" Dr. Oz says. "Nobody. No one washes a tie. Doctors don't either." 

Avoid Wrong-Site Surgery

 When Dr. Oz's wife, Lisa, went in for corrective eye surgery, he says she was the victim of a medical error. "They set the device for her right eye and put it on her left eye," he says. "[It] almost blinded her."

One way a patient can prevent this kind of "wrong-site surgery" error is a simple as writing a note. "If you're going to have surgery on your left arm, write 'Operate on this arm' [on your left arm]," Dr. Oz says.

No Chitchat

Hospitals can be very hectic places, and small talk could distract your doctor. "I know you're trying to be polite, and they're trying to be polite talking back to you," Dr. Oz says. "But let them do their job."

Find a High-Tech Hospital

For instance, if a hospital in your area uses bar code technology to organize treatment and medication, go to that hospital. "You will dramatically reduce the risks," Dr. Oz says.

Find a Hospital That Uses a Care Checklist

Dr. Oz says this is like the preflight list pilots use before takeoff to prevent simple, preventable mistakes. "It turns out that if you have a simple checklist—like use a sterile cloth or drape if you're going to put a catheter in some patient—you can reduce the infection rates about 85 percent. That probably saved in the last 18 months 1,500 lives," he says.

Use an Accredited Hospital

Dr. Oz recommends researching your hospital using resources from the Joint Commission, a health safety watchdog organization. By going to a high-ranked hospital, Dr. Oz says you are rewarding excellence and forcing other hospitals to improve themselves. "Pick the places you want to get the care you desire," he says. "Those places will thrive, and other hospitals want to be like them."

Get to Know Your Hospitalist

Your regular doctor is your go-to gal for for the coordination of all your illnesses and treatments. But, they aren't around when you're in the hospital. That's where a hospitalist steps in.

Meet the new providers of primary medical care

"They know all the programs and the protocols. They're going to work closely with you to make sure you get what you need done," Dr. Oz says. "Find that person, learn who they are and work with them. That's the person that's going to help you get out of there quickly."

Be a Smart Patient

The key to being a smart patient is being proactive about your care, Dr. Oz says. If you hear a doctor say something that doesn't sound right to you, speak up. "If you're on medications, know what they are so you can say: 'Wait a minute. I'm supposed to get four; you just gave me a fifth one. What's going on here?'" 

http://www.oprah.com/health/Dr-Ozs-8-Ways-to-Avoid-Medical-Mistakes/

10 Mistakes of Youth or Right Skin Care

People say that one learns on his own mistakes (in love, profession, family), but if the point is skin care, learn from the experience of your predecessors. This post is about the mistakes you can stay away from relying onto the advices of the elder friends.

Mistake #1

Lots of girls don’t know their skin type as there are few problems that bother them. And they buy the products that they saw their moms, friends used. Meanwhile the choice of the cosmetics is quite an intimate case. There shouldn’t be any fashion following, but only your skin preferences.

Do you know how many problems you can get applying oily creams onto the oily skin? Skin pores simply can’t breathe and be free from the dirt. And what if you put on the drying creams having the normal one?

Conclusion: diagnose your skin type. There are plenty of on-line resources to help you. For example, you can go to the global cosmetic brands sites and pass the tests determining your skin type. Probably, these tests are trustworthy as the brands are interested in selling you the right product so that you could be satisfied with their cosmetics and become their resident buyer. This is the first what you can do staying in the computer chair.

The second one is you should consult the specialist. The consultant-dermatologists provide some perfume and cosmetic salons with free first consultation. Remember, that you should be curious about your skin!

Mistake #2

There are not many girls who know how to clean the skin believing that soap is enough at the age of 18-20. Tightened skin they take as the cleanness indicator. And this is a big mistake! Good soap that matches your skin type shouldn’t dry or tighten the skin. You are lucky if your soap is half creamy. But what if it’s not?

Conclusion: know more about your soap. If your soap peels the lipidic layer daily, if the pH isn’t neutral, if there are some irritations, know that all these will affect your face in the future. Find the products that can clean your face skin harmlessly.

Mistake #3

This paragraph makes sense for those who uses makeup or is going to do it. The conception of modern demakeup is a two-phase procedure. If you use only a wad with cosmetic milk and then wash the face with soap, then you do recklessly! This sort of demakeup choke up the pores and doesn’t care about the skin at all.

Conclusion: clean the skin twice! The first phase should be accomplished with the special makeup removal products (milk or oil), and the second phase is so to say cleaning after cleaning – you should take away the rest of the first-phase-cleaning cosmetics. That would be great if you use a special oil-free gel, mouse or tonic matching your skin type.

Mistake #4

If you skin is pretty dry or peels off regularly, don’t underestimate it. It’s the first sign that your skin is in need of additional nourishment. Lend a hand! Nourish the places that peel most. Apply the nourishing creams onto he problematic skin places. The rest of the skin doesn’t require another cream as it copes to balance the oil without any help. However, modern creams meet the requirements of affecting wholesomely the various skin areas.

Conclusion: chose the nourishing product for your skin type and use it daily. The skin lacking for nourishing, is inclined to irritations, damages, mircoruptures causing premature ageing.

Mistake #5

Almost every sunburn influences the skin condition with age. It becomes evident if you go outdoors without putting on any skin protection cream or lotion. Nowadays there are plenty of sun protection pleasant fragrant products. Protect your skin, if you don’t want to be covered withwrinkles and pigment spots after 35.

Conclusion: keep in your bag sun protection UVA and UVB creams. That’ll be just wonderful if all your day products contain SPF filters (moistening cream, foundation and makeup cosmetics). They are a bit of a higher price, but they worth it. And don’t be ashamed to wear hats, baseball caps, sunglasses.

Mistake #6

Although you might know the latest fashion makeup trends, but still cover your face with something wrong. A lot of girls make this mistake because they choose the color of lipstick over its quality. Irritating and allergic mascara is applied the same way just like the creams.

Conclusion: learn more about your skin and cover it with only what it needs. Be captious choosing skin care products that fit your skin type and your age either. Anti-aging products may harm your skin if using at the wrong age. The cosmetics that you aren’t sure of shouldn’t draw your attention.

Mistake #7

Sometimes you are simply lazy, sometimes it’s your lack of knowledge or attention, but the fact is that the neck should be nourished and protected against the sun rays, free radicals and other harmful exposures too. Wrinkled neck with flabby skin can spoil even the most blooming appearance.

Conclusion: Taking care of the face, don’t forget about the neck. Clean it, moisten, massage, in short, do what you do for your face.

Mistake #8

It can sound ridiculous, but a lot of women find the wrinkles after sleep. Wrong sleep to be exact! If you prefer sleeping on one side, it provokeswrinkles appearing. The quality of a pillow influences on the situation in a good or bad ways. Ask a 40-year-old woman how the sleeping position effects the skin face in the morning! And if it happens day by day?

Conclusion: sleeping on the back is perfect. And find a good orthopaedic pillow that will be on the watch of your beauty. To avoid the wrinkles on the neck, stir clear off the high pillows.

Mistake #9

Each girl faces this mistake. When we are young, we eat everything including fast food, alcohol and smoking cigarettes. This indulgence might affect your figure and skin with time. Remember the saying: “We are what we eat!” What do you want to be: fat turkey or sweet peach? What skin do you want? Fruits and vegetables are wholesome for both the health and skin condition.

Conclusion: revise your eating regime. For openers, strike off the sweets and carbonated water. That’s a real evil for your skin! And eat more vegetables and fruits. Keep your weight stable. Weight loss or heavy weight gaining is the kind of stress for the skin and as a result –wrinkles and flabby skin.

Mistake #10

Skin should be moisturized constantly. Provide it with what you drink. When you take gulps of water, you definitely see the difference. It’s an incontestable fact proved by women.

Conclusion: water, water and water! But not carbonated water! Some dietitians recommend drinking water even at night if you awake for some reason. Don’t wait until you feel thirsty!

This simple truth can make you feel responsible for your face skin. You should always be aware of the fact that only 40% of your skin condition depends on the cosmetic care and procedures, and 60% on your life style, meals and positive attitude toward the life. So, let’s launch the changes, and your skin will say “Thank You!”

http://www.ourvanity.com/beauty/your-face/10-mistakes-of-youth-or-right-skin-care/