How We Stumble: 6 Mistakes of Man

The great Roman orator Cicero (106-43 B.C.) offered these “Six Mistakes of Man”–six habits of thinking that keep us a prisoner of ever-shrinking patterns. Who doesn’t share some of these? Find out what mistakes you share, and without self-blame and judgment, gently fix them and move into a life of more meaning and love.

1. The illusion of personal gain. To begin with, the seesaw thinking that elevates personal gain as a result of crushing others betrays the infinite sense of things. It presumes that life and its resources are finite, that there isn’t enough to go around, and therefore we can only secure our piece of the pie at the expense of others.

2. The tendency to worry. When we tend to worry about things beyond our control, which is common, we are struggling with the lack of faith in the stream of life. This can lead us to a negative self-centeredness that adheres to a false sense of responsibility for everything.

3. Insisting that things are impossible. Because we cannot accomplish something, to say that it is impossible is easier than to admit our own limitations. This sort of world-in-a-thimble thinking prohibits our ability to learn anything new. It prevents us from growing or being refreshed.

4. Trivial preferences. It is clear that one constricting view leads to another, and when we refuse to put down our trivial preferences, we make smallness and self-centeredness a way of life.

5. Neglecting the refinement of the mind. (And the heart.) This is a way to choose the unexamined life over a receptive, listening journey. It is a way to stay in hiding, to choose unconscious living over mindfulness, heartfulness, and awareness.

6. Compelling others. And finally, when attempting to compel others to believe and live as we do, we fall into the ever present trap of conviction.

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/how-we-stumble-six-mistakes-of-man.html#ixzz1BfsTQgoR

8 Spelling Mistakes Even Smart People Make

English is a screwy language. There’s just no logic to it. Why is daughter pronounced daw-ter, but laughter not law-ter? How can though, through, and tough look so similar and yet sound so different? Why does I come before E except after C? What’s so effing SPECIAL about C?

This is the reason that people who speak more sensible languages approach English with stumbling trepidation. English is insane. It has the capacity to confuse even the smartest of its native speakers—including scientists, engineers, and company presidents—especially when it has to be put down on paper.

This I know from experience. As a copywriter, a large part of my job is to translate pages upon pages of “writing written by non-writers” into copy that is short, persuasive, easy-to-read, and yes—perfectly spelt and grammatically (or at least colloquially) correct.

Nobody knows the troubles I’ve seen.

For the most part, each person is unique in terms of writing disability (myself included). But there are some crimes of confusion—particularly when it comes to spelling—that I come across on an almost daily basis. And like overstaying guests, they’ve begun to grate on my nerves, becoming more and more unforgivable with each unwelcome appearance. Such as:

1. YOU’RE and YOUR
If you have no idea when to use which … well, you’re not on your own. This is perhaps the most common mistake of all. Heaven knows why. The distinction is really quite simple:

• You’re is used to substitute the words you are.
• Your is a word you use when referring to something that belongs to the person you’re speaking to. “Your purse,” “your coat,” and so on—and not “Your late!” or “Your wrong!”

2. IT’S and ITS
Close cousins of you’re and your, it’s and its suffer about the same amount of misuse.

• It’s (with an apostrophe) replaces It is or It has. (It’s easy to remember!)
• Its (with no apostrophe) refers to something that belongs to “it.” (Its meaning is clear!)

3. THEY’RE, THEIR, and THERE

Ah, the triple treat … or terror, as the case may be:

• They’re is short for They are.
• Their refers to something that belongs to “them.”
• And there is simply “not here.”

“They’re going to their house, which is over there.”

4. TO and TOO
When you mean overly, please remember to add the extra O—or face the consequences. I once received a heated text message that was meant to make me angry: “TO BAD!” it shouted in loud, aggressive capitals. I ended up in uncontrollable giggles instead. Too bad indeed.

5. LOOSE and LOSE
This one really drives me batty. And when I lose my mind, I often let loose a string of expletives. When what you want to say is the opposite of find, then lose the extra O. Loose (with two o’s) is the opposite of tight.

Like I said, these little confusions are pretty common. They don’t actually bother me half as much as the non-words I often find littering notes, emails … even official business memos. Words like:

6. IRREGARDLESS
Hundreds of people use this word (often with passion!), both in speech and writing, every day—but the truth is, it doesn’t exist! The real word is regardless.

7. ALOT
Anyone who insists this is a word is spouting ALOT of baloney. If you’ve ever written this non-word, what you probably meant was either a lot (meaning “many”) or allot (to ration or allocate).

8. AHOLD
Boy, would I love to get a hold (two words, not one) of the person who decided to just forget the space and make up “ahold new word.”

Guilty? Don’t sweat it. Its nothing to loose sleep over. Your not to bad. Their are alot of people in the same boat, irregardless of what you may think. Just get ahold of you’reself, take a few mental notes, and move on from here.

Please?

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/8-spelling-mistakes-even-smart-people-make.html#ixzz1Bfr6g28c

Embrace Your Mistakes

Last night, as I was sleeping,
I dreamt — marvelous error! –
That I had a beehive
Here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
Were making white combs
And sweet honey
From my old failures.
– Antonio Machado, translated by Robert Bly

I hate making errors. Especially difficult is receiving negative feedback. It’s so hard to believe that everyone doesn’t love me, and love everything that I do. What can they be thinking? This was a really good week for me in the realm of receiving difficult feedback.

This poem reminds me of a quote from a card I published at Brush Dance: “My life is one learning experience after another. By the end of the week I should be a genius.”

And to think — I teach the value of failure. In my workshops I sometimes have everyone throw their arms in the air, and shout, “I failed,” with joy, with letting go. And yet, a little negative feedback can bring me down the rabbit hole of self-doubt and self-judgment.

Then, I read the above poem by Antonia Machado, Spanish poet, born in 1875. Though my own judge and critic remained, I could feel myself expand, widen, and lighten. My questions transformed from “How could I have done this?” to “What can I learn from this feedback?”

Some things I’m learning from this poem:
- Don’t chase away failure; embrace them
- When receiving difficult feedback, expand and lighten
- Listen to your heart; let pain and difficulty widen your heart

What can you learn from your “mistakes” and your “failures”?

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/embrace-your-mistakes.html#ixzz19mXMA0yz

Managing a Great Mistake–Exercises and Tools

Champions keep playing until they get it right. – Billie Jean King, Wimbledon tennis champ

What is your attitude toward taking risks? Afraid of making a mistake, or not having your mistakes tolerated by others? Taking risks results in living on the edge, breaking new ground, hopping out of the box, and yes, making mistakes. Feel free to take risks by learning how to manage your mistakes, here:

1. How can you develop a scientific mind-set toward mistakes, to see them as “stepping-stones to success” rather than things to avoid or be ashamed of? Think about this question and then write your answer in a journal.

2. Make a list of three of your “best mistakes” in your journal. What are three things that went wrong, that you regretted doing or not doing, or that didn’t turn out the way you wanted them to?

3. What did you learn from those mistakes? How are you actually better off now because of the valuable lessons you learned?

4. Finish the sentence: “From now on when I make a mistake, I’m going to ______.”

5. There is an important rule for this exercise: you must promise yourself that you will not get depressed over your mistakes and wallow in sorrow. Look at your mistakes for clues and insights that will allow you to move forward, not backward.

6. Make the topic of your next talk with friends “The Best Mistakes We’ve Made.” Acknowledge your top three mistakes in life and describe what you learned from each mistake. Be sure to have your journal with you so you can record important insights.

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/exercise-for-managing-mistakes.html#ixzz19mX3M5aG

The Biggest Mistake of Julian Assange

A few days after the publication of over 250,000 classified cables of the U.S. State Department on Wikileaks, the storm of controversy that struck the figure of its founder, Julian Assange, has not yet subsided. Many people rail against the irresponsibility of Assange while many others, at the same time, defend him. But there is something wrong in his quest for transparency and truth. Assange has translated the contents of the cables uniquely as an ambiguity underlying the behavior of the U.S. government in its relations with the rest of the world.

At a casual glance, this assumption may seem correct and acceptable, but only if you completely ignore that the very essence of diplomacy is to safeguard the interests of a country, while maintaining a certain balance of political and economic terms in international relations with other countries. It’s not a proof of ethics or morals. It is a game of mediation, compromises, concessions and demands made of negotiations that are based on anything but transparent information for those sitting across the negotiating table.

Being surprised by the American government representatives located in various embassies around the world, sending confidential information to Washington that’s filled with strong criticism for other countries, is pure childishness. The same thing happens to all the foreign delegations of any other state against countries hosting them. It is a consolidated monitoring and reporting activity well-known among the intelligence services.

Believing that this prerogative is ethically reprehensible and exclusively confined to American foreign policy is a gross mistake, based on blatant prejudice that’s made of anti-Americanism dressed up as love for transparency and truth. This is Assange’s biggest mistake. His one-sided accusation against the United States itself undermines the credibility and defensibility of his mission.

http://woorkup.com/2010/12/06/the-biggest-mistake-of-julian-assange/

Mistakes at Work: Enemies or Teachers?

Adapted from Awake at Work, by Michael Carroll (Shambhala, 2004).

It is inevitable that we make mistakes. Some are small, like dialing the wrong number, and some are monumental, like permitting the Challenger space shuttle to launch. When we do our jobs well, we try to limit our mistakes, and we never intentionally mess up. We dislike making mistakes because they create confusion and doubt and can leave us and our colleagues feeling inadequate and embarrassed. But mistakes happen. And how we handle them makes all the difference.

Find out the Buddhist secret to dealing with our mistakes, so that they become our best teachers rather than our enemies, here:

Mistakes require that we retrace our steps, repair damage, and reassess our views. In many instances, mistakes can be our best teachers because they demand that we learn vital lessons about ourselves and how we do our jobs. They require that we stop and consider our circumstances carefully, right here, right now. When we treat mistakes as enemies rather than teachers, we inevitably end up behaving like cowards. Rather than accepting responsibility, we distance ourselves from problems and difficulties. Rather than facing facts with accountability and precision, we blame or make excuses.

Being honest about mistakes at work requires tact, humility, and skill. When we permit mistakes to teach us, we discuss problems discreetly and listen to others’ points of view. We treat facts as friendly and we learn ways to improve our jobs. When we are honest about our mistakes, we slow down and take full stock of our circumstances. This requires us to open ourselves fully to the discomfort and detail, rather than rush past our circumstances, papering over the failures, to regain a false sense of mastery.

We can bravely learn from our failures without blaming others. Such courage is both demanding and refreshing. Since we are willing to be truthful, precise, and accountable, we are not confused by self-deception. Since we are willing to be honest, there is no struggle.


Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/mistakes-at-work-enemies-or-teachers.html#ixzz19mWkTyFO

Top after-sex mistakes revealed

It's just one of those mistakes that couples often commit soon after enjoying an intimate session with their partner. They might have made all the necessary efforts to satisfy their partner in bed, but just one little mistake can spoil all the fun! 

The nature of these after-sex mistakes hints that you were just waiting for sex to get over so you could indulge in some other non-sexual activity. Or in some cases, it shows that you had something else running through your mind while having sex. 

Though these are absolutely unintentional acts that partners get caught up in, these are often the terrible goof-ups that kill the sexual mood. Also, couples fail to understand that switching off from the sexual state of mind can leave the other partner highly irked. 

Dr. Pushkar Gupta, a Chandigarh-based sex therapist opines, "It is very likely that partners who right away indulge in something else after having sex, might have performed sex as a duty and not an act of enjoyment. While there are several ways to keep up the mood even after the actual sex is over, some partners look for ways to remain busy and thus they end up committing lesser known 'after-sex' mistakes." 

Dr. Amita Mishra, sex and relationship expert states, "After enjoying the sexual act, if a partner tries to get involved in something not related to sex, it surely makes the other partner feel disowned. While there should be an effort to linger on with the sexual feel even after the actual act is over, couples who deviate from this mood are certainly affecting their sexual relationship." 

We list some recurring 'after-sex' mistakes that couples indulge in. So the next time you get intimate, make sure you do not switch into something else just after finishing the act. Let the mood linger on for enhanced pleasure ... 

Falling asleep at once : Most couples come across this problem where either one of the partners or both would fall asleep soon after having sex. It certainly is a big goof-up that can kill the charm of sex. Sleeping at once would not allow you to cherish your performance and neither let you enjoy the mood with which you enjoyed that night of passion. 

Making way for washroom : Enjoying a hot shower together can be a great foreplay act, but rushing to the washroom right after a hot romp is definitely not! While couples won't mind getting messy in their sexual acts, but as soon as it's over, they make way to the washroom to clean-up. It might sound okay, but they forget that the other partner might still be enjoying that mood and want to have more of it. Heading straight to the washroom makes the other partner feel that there's been something unpleasing about the act, which can mar your sexual bliss. 

Calling a friend : This is another common mistake that couples face after a steamy session. While it's obvious that none would call a friend at odd hours to discuss official matters, so why can't a petty talk wait till the morning? When it's time to enjoy sex, it's indeed a gaffe to keep your eyes and ears stuck onto your mobile phone waiting for a message or keeping an eye on your missed calls. It makes the other partner feel as if you're just not interested and thus ruins all the fun. 

Heading towards study or work : What couples think of during sex remains an unanswered question. Those who head towards study-room right after a romp may just give the answer. Thinking books and reading is indeed a sex blunder! Like sexual moments, it's equally important to enjoy the after-sex pleasure. If you rather descend towards your study, leaving behind your partner, it won't bring any good to your sexual relationship. If you prefer reading a book instead of cuddling and snuggling, you are indeed inviting trouble into your sex paradise. 

Sleeping separately : You might have a habit of sleeping separately in guest bedroom or on the terrace, but on a particular night when you've een intimate with your partner, exceptions are allowed. After a lovemaking session, it's not a good idea to abandon your partner and pack your sheets and pillow to move to another room for a sound sleep. It will not only kill the passion on that night, but would also tarnish your sexual relations for several nights to follow. 

Bringing kids to sleep along : Letting anyone invade your sexual privacy is bound to mar your sexual pleasure and kids are no exception. Many mothers have a tendency to bring kids to sleep alongside on the same bed and if that happens after having sex, it can't get worse. Well, such a gesture has all the reasons to annoy the other partner, who might have planned something more sensual to be enjoyed after a steamy romp. 

Eating another meal : Eating an aphrodisiacal meal together with your beloved can be a great start before a lovemaking act. But moving to the kitchen right after having sex looking for something to eat is equally disgusting. It ruins the entire passion and would make your partner feel that you didn't enjoy sex just because you were hungry and had food on your mind.

Read more: Top after-sex mistakes revealed - The Times of India http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/relationships/man-woman/Top-after-sex-mistakes-revealed/articleshow/4436099.cms#ixzz1AjiwSbDX

10 Common Food Safety Mistakes

Most food safety mistakes are made innocently, simply because we
didn’t know the rules. And with so many of us juggling multiple
responsibilities at work and home, it’s no wonder that we are
more concerned with convenience and saving time than we are with
washing that head of lettuce thoroughly before using it or heating
up the leftovers to the proper temperature.

Read the top 10 most common food safety mistakes, and their solutions

1. Assuming that “prewashed” fruits and vegetables are really clean and ready-to-eat.

Solution: Wash all fruits and vegetables.

2. Thinking a hamburger is done because it tastes fresh and “looks” done.

Solution: Use a meat thermometer test and make sure it is cooked through to at least 160F.

3. Putting the grilled meat back on the same plate after you finish cooking or grilling it.

4. Tasting homemade cookie dough or cake batter that contains raw eggs.

5. Using the same dishtowel to wipe your hands and the counters.

6. Stuffing a chicken or turkey hours before cooking.

7. Eating cheese with mold on it, or other old food. (This isn’t about “bleu” cheese.)

8. Eating unwashed fruits.

9. Eating foods packed in dented or bulging cans.

10. Throwing suspect food away after eating it. (If there is a contaminant present in a food you ate, you will need to know what it was so that you can get the proper treatment.)

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/10-common-food-safety-mistakes.html#ixzz19mWV1zNE

8 costly mistakes investors make

What was I thinking?

If there's one question that investors have asked themselves over the past year and a half, it's that one. If only I had acted differently, they say. If only, if only, if only.

Yet here's the problem: While we know we made investment mistakes, and vow not to repeat them, most people have only the vaguest sense of what those mistakes were, or, more importantly, why they made them. Why did we think and feel and behave as we did? Why did we act in a way that today, in hindsight, seems so obviously stupid? Only by understanding the answers to these questions can we begin to improve our financial future.

This is where behavioral finance comes in. Most investors are intelligent people, neither irrational nor insane. But behavioral finance tells us we are also normal, with brains that are often full and emotions that are often overflowing. And that means we are normally smart at times and normally stupid at others.

The trick, therefore, is to learn to increase our ratio of smart behavior to stupid. And since we cannot (thank goodness) turn ourselves into computer-like people, we need to find tools to help us act smart even when our thinking and feelings tempt us to be stupid.

Let me give you one example. Investors tend to think about each stock we purchase in a vacuum, distinct from other stocks in our portfolio. We are happy to realize "paper" gains in each stock quickly, but procrastinate when it comes to realizing losses. Why? Because while regret over a paper loss stings, we can console ourselves in the hope that, in time, the stock will roar back into a gain.

By contrast, all hope would be extinguished if we sold the stock and realized our loss. We would feel the searing pain of regret. So we do pretty much anything to avoid that pain -- including holding on to the stock long after we should have sold it. Indeed, I've recently encountered an investor who procrastinated in realizing his losses on WorldCom stock until a letter from his broker informed him that the stock was worthless.

Successful professional traders are subject to the same emotions as the rest of us. But they counter it in two ways. First, they know their weakness, placing them on guard against it. Second, they establish "sell disciplines" that force them to realize losses even when they know that the pain of regret is sure to follow.

So in what other ways do our misguided thoughts and feelings get in the way of successful investing -- not to mention increasing our stress levels? And what are the lessons we should learn, once we recognize those cognitive and emotional errors? Here are eight of them.

No. 1: Caring that Goldman Sachs is faster than you

There is an old story about two hikers who encounter a tiger. One says: There is no point in running because the tiger is faster than either of us. The other says: It is not about whether the tiger is faster than either of us. It is about whether I'm faster than you. And with that he runs away. The speed of the Goldman Sachses of the world has been boosted most recently by computerized high-frequency trading. Can you really outrun them?

It is normal for us, the individual investors, to frame the market race as a race against the market. We hope to win by buying and selling investments at the right time. That doesn't seem so hard. But we are much too slow in our race with the Goldman Sachses.

So what does this mean in practical terms? The most obvious lesson is that individual investors should never enter a race against faster runners by trading frequently on every little bit of news (or rumors).

Instead, simply buy and hold a diversified portfolio. Banal? Yes. Obvious? Yes. Typically followed? Sadly, no. Too often cognitive errors and emotions get in our way.

No. 2: Thinking foresight can be as clear as hindsight

Wasn't it obvious in 2007 that financial institutions and financial markets were about to collapse? Well, it was not obvious to me, and it was probably not obvious to you, either. Hindsight error leads us to think that we could have seen in foresight what we see only in hindsight. And it makes us overconfident in our certainty about what's going to happen.

Want to check the quality of your foresight? Write down in permanent ink your forecast of tomorrow's stock prices. Do that each day for a year and check the accuracy of your predictions. You are likely to find that your foresight is not nearly as good as your hindsight.

Some prognosticators say we are in a new bull market and others say this is only a bull bounce in a bear market. We will know in hindsight which prognostication was right, but we don't know it in foresight.

When I hear in my mind's ear a voice that says the stock market is sure to zoom or plunge, I activate my "noise-canceling" device rather than go online and trade. You might wish to install this device in your mind as well.

No. 3: Being led by the pain of regret

Emotions are useful, even when they sting. The pain of regret over stupid comments teaches presidents and the rest of us to calibrate our words more carefully. But sometimes emotions mislead us into stupid behavior.

We feel the pain of regret when we find, in hindsight, that our portfolios would have been overflowing if only we had sold all the stocks in 2007. The pain of regret is especially searing when we bear responsibility for the decision not to sell our stocks in 2007. We are tempted to alleviate our pain by shifting responsibility to our financial advisers. "I am not stupid," we say. "My financial adviser is stupid." Financial advisers are sorely tempted to reciprocate, as the adviser in the cartoon who says: "If we're being honest, it was your decision to follow my recommendation that cost you money."

In truth, responsibility belongs to bad luck. Follow your mother's good advice: "Don't cry over spilled milk."

Where am I leading you? Stop focusing on blame and regret and yesterday and start thinking about today and tomorrow. Don't let regret lead you to hold on to stocks you should be selling. Instead, consider getting rid of your 2007 losing stocks and using the money immediately to buy similar stocks. You'll feel the pain of regret today. But you'll feel the joy of pride next April when the realized losses turn into tax deductions.

No. 4: Letting investment success stories blind you

Have you ever seen a lottery commercial showing a man muttering "lost again" as he tears his ticket in disgust? Of course not. What you see instead are smiling winners holding giant checks.

Lottery promoters tilt the scales by making the handful of winners available to our memory while obscuring the many millions of losers. Then, once we have settled on a belief, such as "I'm going to win the lottery," we tend to look for evidence that confirms our belief rather than evidence that might refute it. So we figure our favorite lottery number is due for a win because it has not won in years. Or we try to divine -- through dreams, horoscopes, fortune cookies -- the next winning numbers. But we neglect to note evidence that hardly anybody ever wins the lottery, and that lottery numbers can go for decades without winning. This is the work of the "confirmation" error.

What is true for lottery tickets is true for investments as well. Investment companies tilt the scales by touting how well they have done over a pre-selected period. Then, confirmation error misleads us into focusing on investments that did well in 2008.

Lottery players who overcome the confirmation error conclude that winning lottery numbers are random. Investors who overcome the confirmation error conclude that winning investments are almost as random. Don't chase last year's investment winners. Your ability to predict next year's investment winner is no better than your ability to predict next week's lottery winner. A diversified portfolio of many investments might make you a loser during a year or even a decade, but a concentrated portfolio of few investments might ruin you forever.

No. 5: Putting fear or exuberance in control

A Gallup Poll asked: "Do you think that now is a good time to invest in the financial markets?" February 2000 was a time of exuberance, and 78% of investors agreed that "now is a good time to invest." It turned out to be a bad time to invest. March 2003 was a time of fear, and only 41% agreed that "now is a good time to invest." It turned out to be a good time to invest.

I would guess that few investors thought that March 2009, another time of great fear, was a good time to invest. So far, so wrong. It is good to learn the lesson of fear and exuberance, and use reason to resist their pull.

No. 6: Basing happiness on wealth ups and downs

John found out today that his wealth fell from $5 million to $3 million. Jane found out that her wealth increased from $1 million to $2 million. John has more wealth than Jane, but Jane is likely to be happier. This simple insight underlies Prospect Theory, developed by Daniel Kahneman and Amos Tversky. Happiness from wealth comes from gains of wealth more than it comes from levels of wealth. While gains of wealth bring happiness, losses of wealth bring misery. This is misery we feel today, whether our wealth declined from $5 million to $3 million or from $50,000 to $30,000.

We'll have to wait a while before we recoup our recent investment losses, but we can recoup our loss of happiness much faster, simply by framing things differently. John thinks he's a loser now that he has only $3 million of his original $5 million. But John is likely a winner if he compares his $3 million to the mountain of debt he had when he left college. And he is a winner if he compares himself to his poor neighbor, the one with only $2 million.

In other words, it's all relative, and it doesn't hurt to keep that in mind, for the sake of your mental well-being. Standing next to people who have lost more than you and counting your blessings would not add a penny to your portfolio, but it would remind you that you are not a loser.

No. 7: Losing sight of your goals

Another lesson here in happiness. Mental accounting -- the adding and subtracting you do in your head about your gains and losses -- is a cognitive operation that can regularly mislead you. But you can also use your mental accounting in a way that steers you right.

Say your portfolio is down 30% from its 2007 high, even after the recent stock market bounce. You feel like a loser. But money is worth nothing when it is not attached to a goal, whether buying a new TV, funding retirement or leaving an inheritance to your children or favorite charity.

A stock market crash is akin to an automobile crash. We check ourselves. Is anyone bleeding? Can we drive the car to a garage, or do we need a tow truck? We must check ourselves after a market crash as well.

Suppose you divide your portfolio into mental accounts: one for your retirement income, one for college education for your grandchildren and one for bequests to your children. Now you can see that the terrible market has wrecked your bequest mental account and dented your education mental account, but left your retirement mental account without a scratch. You still have all the money you need for food and shelter, and you even have the money for a trip around the country in a new RV. You might want to affix to it a new version of the old bumper sticker: "I've only lost my children's inheritance."

So here's my advice: Ask yourself whether the market damaged your retirement prospects or only deflated your ego. If the market has damaged your retirement prospects, then you'll have to save more, spend less or retire later. But don't worry about your ego. In time it will inflate to its former size.

No. 8: Ignoring the benefits of dollar-cost averaging

Suppose you were wise or lucky enough to sell all your stocks at the top of the market in October 2007. Now what? Today it seems so clear that you should not have missed the opportunity to get back into the market in mid-March, but you missed that opportunity. Hindsight messes with your mind and regret adds its sting. Perhaps you should get back in. But what if the market falls below its March lows as soon as you get back in? Won't the sting of regret be even more painful?

Dollar-cost averaging is a good way to reduce regret -- and make your head clearer for smart investing. Say you have $100,000 that you want to put back into stocks. Divide it into 10 pieces of $10,000 each and invest each on the first Monday of each of the next 10 months. You'll minimize regret. If the stock market declined as soon as you invested the first $10,000, you'll take comfort in the $90,000 you have not invested yet. If the market increases, you'll take comfort in the $10,000 you have invested. Moreover, the strict "first Monday" rule removes responsibility, further mitigating the pain of regret. You did not make the decision to invest $10,000 in the sixth month, just before the big crash. You only followed a rule. The money is lost, but your mind is almost intact.

Things could be a lot worse.

Meir Statman, a professor of finance at Santa Clara University in Santa Clara, Calif., wrote this piece for The Wall Street Journal.

http://articles.moneycentral.msn.com/learn-how-to-invest/8-costly-mistakes-investors-make.aspx?page=3

Top 10 Sleep Mistakes and Their Solutions

Although we may not like to admit it, many of the sleep problems we experience are the result of bad habits and behaviors. We stay up late or sleep in late. We eat foods that disagree with us or enjoy a drink late at night, oblivious to its disruptive impact on our sleep rhythms. Over time, we teach our body not to sleep. For relief we often turn to sleeping pills, which mask rather than solve the problem, and can lead to addiction. Ultimately for real success, with insomnia as with any chronic problem, one must look for the underlying imbalances and root causes and address those.

Here are the common sleep “mistakes” I see in my practice and their solutions.

MISTAKE #1 Not keeping a consistent sleep schedule.
We often think we can make up for lost sleep by going to bed extra early another night, but the body clock’s ability to regulate healthy sleep patterns depends on consistency. We stay up late on weekends, expecting to make up sleep later or use the weekend to make up for lost sleep during the week. Both practices disrupt bodily rhythms and late-night weekends in particular can cause insomnia during the workweek.

SOLUTION: Create a routine and stick to it.
Getting up and going to bed around the same time, even on weekends, is the most important thing you can do to establish good sleep habits. Our bodies thrive on regularity, and the best reinforcement for the body’s internal clock is a consistent sleep schedule.

Waking and sleeping at set times reinforces a consistent sleep rhythm and reminds the brain when to release sleep and wake hormones, and more importantly, when not to.

MISTAKE #2 Using long naps to counter sleep loss. 
Long naps during the day especially after 4 p.m. or even brief nods in the evening while watching TV can damage a good sleep rhythm and keep you from enjoying a full sleep at night.

SOLUTION: Nap for no more than 30 minutes.
If naps are absolutely necessary, make sure you only nap once a day and keep it under a half hour and before 4 p.m. In general, short naps may not hurt sleep and in fact a short siesta for half an hour after lunch or a 20 minute power nap before 4 p.m. works well for many people.

MISTAKE #3 Not preparing for sleep.
Expecting the body to go from full speed to a standstill without slowing down first is unrealistic. Our bodies need time to produce enough sleep neurotransmitters to send feedback signals to the brain’s sleep center, which will result in the release of sleep hormones to allow you to sleep.

SOLUTION: Take the time to slowly shift into sleep. 
a) Create an electronic sundown. By 10 p.m., stop sitting in front of a computer screen (or TV screen) and switch off all electronic devices. They are too stimulating to the brain and will cause you to stay awake longer.
b) Prepare for bed. Dim the lights an hour or more before going to bed, take a warm bath, listen to calming music or soothing sounds, do some restorative yoga or relaxation exercises. Getting your mind and body ready for sleep is essential. Remove any distractions (mentally and physically) that will prevent you from sleeping.

MISTAKE #4 Not giving your body the right sleep signals. 
Our bodies depend on signals to tell them when to fall asleep and wake up, the two most fundamental ones being darkness and light. But we live and work in artificially lit environments and often miss out on the strongest regulatory signal of all, natural sunlight. When we do go to sleep and our bodies need complete darkness for production of the important sleep hormone, melatonin, our bedrooms are not pitch dark, thereby interfering with this key process.

SOLUTION: At night, keep the room as dark as possible.
Look around your bedroom: the alarm clock read-out that glows in bright red; the charging indicator on your cell phone or PDA, the monitor on your computer, the battery indicator on the cordless phone or answering machine, the DVD clock and timer. Even the tiniest bit of light in the room can disrupt your pineal gland’s production of sleep hormones and therefore disturb your sleep rhythms.

Conceal or move the clock, cover all the lights of any electronic device and use dark shades or drapes on the windows if they are exposed to light. If all of that is not possible, wear an eye mask.

If you get up in the middle of the night, try keeping the light off when you go to the bathroom. Use a flashlight or night light.

MISTAKE #5 Having a bed time snack of refined grains or sugars.
These are metabolic disruptors which raise blood sugar and overstress the organs involved in hormone regulation throughout the body. This hormone roller coaster can affect sleep cycles by waking you up at odd times during sleep as the hormone levels fluctuate.

SOLUTION: If you have to eat, have a high-protein snack.
It is better not to have anything before bed. But if you must eat something, a high protein snack will not only prevent the hormone roller coaster, but also may provide L-tryptophan, an amino acid needed to produce melatonin.

MISTAKE #6 Using sleeping pills to fall and stay asleep. 
Sleeping pills mask sleep problems and do not resolve the underlying cause of insomnia. Many sleep studies have concluded that sleeping pills, whether prescription or over-the-counter, do more harm than good over the long-term. They can be highly addictive and studies have found them to be potentially dangerous (see references, page 11).

For short term use, there may be indications for needing sleeping pills, but over time, sleeping pills can actually make insomnia worse, not better. If you have been taking them for a long time, ask your doctor to help you design a regimen to wean yourself off them.

SOLUTION: Learn relaxation techniques. 
Aside from physical problems, stress may be the number one cause of sleep disorders. Temporary stress can lead to chronic insomnia and circadian rhythm sleep disorders. Many people tell me they can’t switch off their racing minds and therefore can’t sleep.

Do some breathing exercises, restorative yoga or meditation. These will calm the mind and reduce the fears and worries that trigger the stress.

MISTAKE #7 Using Alcohol to fall asleep.
Because of alcohol’s sedating effect, many people with insomnia drink alcohol to promote sleep. Alcohol does have an initial sleep inducing effect, but as it gets broken down by the body, it usually impairs sleep during the second half of the night leading to a reduction in overall sleep time. Habitual alcohol consumption just before bedtime can reduce its sleep-inducing effect, while its disruptive effects continue or even increase.

SOLUTION: Take nutrients that calm the body and mind, getting you ready for sleep. 
Don’t drink alcohol to help you sleep. Look for a calming formula that has some of the following: amino acids, L theanine, taurine, 5 HTP and GABA, and herbs like lemon balm, passion flower, chamomile and valerian root. Taking the minerals, calcium and magnesium at night is also helpful. For some people, especially those of us over 50, melatonin can be helpful too. This is because the body produces less melatonin with advancing age and may explain why elderly people often have difficulty sleeping and respond well to melatonin.

MISTAKE #8 Watching television to fall asleep.
Because we have no trouble at all falling asleep in the living room in front of the TV many of us watch TV in bed to fall asleep. But when we fall asleep in a bed watching TV, we invariably wake up later on. This sets up a cycle or conditioning that reinforces poor sleep at night. I have had many patients over the years develop insomnia due to this type of conditioning.

SOLUTION: Get the TV out of the bedroom.
Don’t watch TV in bed. The bed should be associated with sleep (and sex).

MISTAKE #9 Staying in bed hoping to fall asleep.
If you can’t fall asleep within 30-45 minutes, chances are you won’t for at least another hour, and perhaps even longer. You may have missed the open “sleep gate” or missed catching the sleep wave. A “sleep gate” is the open window of time your body will allow you to fall asleep. Researchers have found that our brain goes through several sleep cycles each night where all sleep phases are repeated. These cycles last from 90 minutes to two hours, and at the beginning of each cycle, the body’s “sleep gate” opens. You won’t be able to fall asleep when your sleep gate is closed. 

SOLUTION: Catch the sleep wave. 
If you find you can’t fall asleep within 45 minutes, get up and get out of the bedroom. Read a book, do a restorative yoga pose or do some other calming activity for another 1 -1 1/2 hours before trying to sleep again. Staying in bed only causes stress over not sleeping.

It is like surfing; you need to catch that sleep wave. Have you ever been exhausted and yet you avoid going to sleep and then a few hours later when you are ready for bed, you are suddenly wide awake? You missed the wave.

MISTAKE #10 Making sleep a performance issue. 
Often just thinking about sleep affects your ability to fall asleep. What happens frequently is that the way you cope with the insomnia becomes as much of a problem, as the insomnia itself. It often becomes a vicious cycle of worrying about not being able to sleep which leads to worsening sleep problems. Like so many things in life, it is about letting go, going with the flow. Sleep needs to become a natural rhythm like breathing, something that comes automatically and you don’t think about.

SOLUTION: Let go and go with the flow.
Use the time to practice breathing exercises or meditation and to become aware of how what you eat, what medications you take, what behaviors or certain activities can affect your sleep cycle.

Increase your awareness by paying attention to your body and becoming conscious of how you react to different foods and situations. Use this time productively, instead of getting upset that you can’t fall asleep.

One final point.
For chronic insomniacs, especially if you are a heavy snorer, make sure Sleep Apnea is not the cause. This is a serious condition that affects at least 12 million Americans, many of whom have not been diagnosed. Usually they are heavy snorers. What happens is that the tissues at the back of the throat relax and in so doing block the airways. The brain senses oxygen deprivation, and sends wakeup signals. There is a release of adrenaline and cortisol, the stress hormone. Not only does this interfere with sleep, it can increase blood pressure, raising your risk of heart problems and stroke. It can also interfere with insulin sensitivity, and increases your risk of diabetes.

Read more: http://www.care2.com/greenliving/top-10-sleep-mistakes-and-their-solutions.html#ixzz19mVyizKz