Stress Inducing Thinking Errors (Cognitive Distortions)

"We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are." (Unknown)

As we have learnt, our thoughts play an influential role in our perception of the stress that we are under. Some of these stress inducing thoughts are what Clinical Psychologists call Cognitive Distortions. These stress inducing thinking errors can exacerbate any stress we are under and it is important to identify and challenge them.

You will find below some of the most common of these thinking errors. Write down any which you think might apply to you.

1. Black and White Thinking (All or Nothing Thinking)

In black and white thinking we tend to see things, ourselves and other people as being all wrong or all right, all good or all bad. We are a total success or we are a total failure. We are either completely 100% right or we are 100% wrong. The reality is we all make mistakes. Life is a learning process and nobody is perfect. For example, if we make one mistake we see ourselves as having failed.

2. Overgeneralization

In overgeneralization when we experience a single, negative event such as not getting a job that we applied for, we tend to think we will never get a job ever again. We make a mistake and we think we can never do things right. We make conclusions based on single events. For example "Everything I do turns out wrong."

3. Catastrophising

When we catastrophise we automatically think the worst is going to happen, it will be awful and we will not be able to cope. For example, "My relationship broke up, so nobody will want a relationship with me again in the future."

4. Mental Filter

In mental filter we see all the negatives and seldom see the positives. We filter out all the good things that life has and overly focus on negative parts of life. We pick on a single negative detail and dwell on it. We overly dwell on the negative and totally ignore the positives. We make predictions about what will happen to us in the future based on little information. For example, someone says we have done well, but we discount this because we say it was only said to be nice, it wasn't really meant; or 100 good reviews and one bad review and we focus on the single bad review.

5. Magnifying or Minimising (Binocular Vision)

In magnifying/minimising we blow things out of proportion. We make mountains out of molehills. We tend to minimise the strengths and qualities of ourselves and others and magnify and exaggerate the supposed weaknesses, mistakes and errors.

6. Personalisation and Blame

In personalisation and blame if something bad happens we assume it is our fault. We tend to blame ourselves solely for situations and events that we were not entirely responsible for. The opposite example is we take no personal responsibility; we blame other people and situations. Example "My relationship broke up so it must be all my fault", or "My relationship broke up so it must be all his/her fault."

7. Labelling and Mislabelling

In labelling/mislabelling we call ourselves and other people by negative names for our/their supposed shortcomings. These are not based on the facts, but on only one or two negative incidents. Example "I'm an idiot", "She's a moron", "I'm stupid".

8. Jumping to Conclusions

In jumping to conclusions we tend to make a negative interpretation even though we don't have all the facts to support our view.

a. Mind Reading We think we know what other people are thinking about us, for example, that they think we are stupid, incompetent, and may disapprove of us; we do not bother to check this out. For example, if a friend walks by on the other side of the street we mind read and think I've offended her, so she is ignoring me.

b. Fortune Telling We think that events will turn out bad without having any evidence to support this view. For example, I'll fail my exams, or I won't go for the job I want because I know I won't get it.

9. Emotional Reasoning

In emotional reasoning we let our feelings guide our interpretation of reality. We think that what we are feeling must be accurate, so if we feel we are a failure then we must be; if we feel we are ugly then we must be. We do not look for facts to support what we feel; we have a feeling and just accept it. If we feel we are weak, useless, stupid we just accept it. We may be so stressed that we have difficulty with our emotions and therefore conclude that our marriage is not working, when in fact it is our blunted emotions that are causing the problem. We reason from how we feel, I feel an idiot, so I must really be one.

10. Discounting the Positive

In discounting the positive we trivialise the positive things about ourselves and others saying that these positives do not count for much. For example your partner says you are good at something, but you say they are only saying it because they are your partner.

11. Hindsight Thinking

In hindsight thinking we look back at decisions we made in the past and make judgements about the decision we made. We often think we should have handled things better, but hindsight thinking is always 20/20. Looking back with the benefit of hindsight we may now make a different decision with our current knowledge, however we made the decision at that time with the evidence, knowledge and experience we had at that time. For example, "When I left University I should have gone for a different type of job, all the work problems I've got now I wouldn't have if I had taken that job."

12. What ifs

In what if thinking, we keep asking what if something happens, and we are not satisfied by any of the answers we get. ". . .but what if I don't do the three point turn properly?" or "what if I mess up the emergency stop?", "what if the examiner is a tyrant?", "what if . . .

13. Egocentric Thinking

In egocentric thinking we think that it is important that we persuade others to think the same way we do. (This is about other peoples thinking) For example, "I must persuade him to want to vote the same as me if he is going to be my friend." Or "People must think the way I do."

14. Being Right

In being right error we think we are correct in our thinking, we discount other evidence and the ideas of others. (This is about our thinking). For example, "I know I am right, so I won't read the leaflet about the other political party."

15. Control Error

In control errors there could be two distortions:

a. We see ourselves as helpless and externally controlled, we remain stuck, unable to affect our own life, or anything else in the world. We see evidence of human helplessness all around us. Something else is responsible for our pain, loss or failure. We find it difficult to find or work on solutions. For example, "I won't get financial stability or have a nice house until I find a rich man to marry."

b. We feel the opposite of the above, we feel responsible for everything, carrying the world on our shoulders, we are totally responsible for ours and others happiness. For example, "It's my fault that she hates her job, I'm not a very good boss."

16. Change Error

In change error we strive to change the views of others; we blame, demand, withhold and trade to achieve the change in others we require. Usually the other person feels attacked and pushed around and probably does not change at all. We think we have to change others to achieve our happiness. For example, "You must get better results in your exams than I did when I was at school; I'll buy you a car if you do."

17. Fairness Error

In fairness error we tend to judge peoples actions by what we think is fair or not fair. We feel resentful when someone does not act towards us in a way that we think is fair. Their version of what is fair is probably different from our version of what is fair. For example, "If my husband really cared about how I felt, he would take on more responsibility for the house and the children."

18. Heaven's Reward Thinking

In heaven's reward thinking we do the right thing to gain our reward, we sacrifice and slave imagining that we are collecting brownie points that we can cash in some day, making our decisions and actions around what others need, often ignoring our own needs. For example, "If I look after my own needs I am being selfish."

19. Unrealistic Comparisons

In unfair comparisons we compare ourselves to other people, work colleagues etc, and view them as being more successful, better at coping than we are, are happier than we are, and better at handling life than we are.

Identifying thinking errors is one step towards improving our stress resistant thinking; the next step is to learn the techniques to challenge and restructure our thinking.

http://stresscourse.tripod.com/id137.html

Reading Body Language: 5 Mistakes People Make

Human beings are genetically programmed to look for facial and behavioral cues and to quickly understand their meaning. We see someone gesture and automatically make a judgment about the intention of that gesture.

And we've been doing this for a long, long time. As a species we knew how to win friends and influence people - or avoid/placate/confront those we couldn't befriend - long before we knew how to use words.

But our ancient ancestors faced threats and challenges very different from those we confront in today's modern society. Life is more complex now, with layers of social restrictions and nuanced meanings adding to the intricacies of our interpersonal dealings. This is especially true in workplace settings, where corporate culture adds it own complexities and unique guidelines for correct behavior.

No matter what the culture at your workplace, the ability to "read" nonverbal signals can provide some significant advantages in the way you deal with people. You can start to gain those advantages by avoiding these five common mistakes people often make when reading body language:

1. They forget to consider the context

Imagine this scene: It's a freezing-cold winter evening with a light snow falling and a north wind blowing. You see a woman sitting ona bench at a bus stop. Her head is down, her eyes are tightly closed and she's hunched over, shivering slightly, and hugging herself.
Now the scene changes . . .

It's the same woman in the same physical position. But instead of sitting outdoors on a bench, she's seated behind her desk in the office next to yours. Her body language is identical - head down, eyes closed, hunched over, shivering, hugging herself. The nonverbal signals are the same but the new setting has altered your perception of those signals. In a flash she's gone from telling you, "I'm really cold!" to "I'm in distress."

Obviously, then, the meaning of nonverbal communication changes as the context changes. We can't begin to understand someone's behavior without considering the circumstances under which the behavior occurred.

2. They try to find meaning in a simple gesture

Nonverbal cues occur in what is called a "gesture cluster" - a group of movements, postures and actions that reinforce a common point. A single gesture can have several meanings or mean nothing at all (sometimes a cigar is just a cigar), but when you couple that single gesture with other nonverbal signals, the meaning becomes clearer.
For example, a person may cross her arms for any number of reasons. But when that action is coupled with a scowl, a headshake, and legs turned away from you, you now have a composite picture and reinforcement to conclude that she is resistant to whatever you just proposed.

3. They are too focused on what's being said

If you only hear what people are saying, you'll miss what they really mean.
A manager I was coaching appeared calm and reasonable as she listed the reasons why she should delegate more responsibility to her staff. But every time she expressed these opinions, she also (almost imperceptibly) shuddered. While her words declared her intention of empowering employees, the quick, involuntary shudder was saying loud and clear, "I really don't want to do this!"

4. They don't know a person's baseline

You need to know how a person normally behaves so that you can spot meaningful deviations.
Here's what can happen when you don't: A few years ago, I was giving a presentation to the CEO of a financial services company, outlining a speech I was scheduled to deliver to his leadership team the next day. And it wasn't going well.
Our meeting lasted almost an hour, and through that entire time the CEO sat at the conference table with his arms tightly crossed. He didn't once smile, lean forward or nod encouragement. When I finished, he said thank you (without making eye contact) and left the room.
As I'm a body language expert, I was sure that his nonverbal communication was telling me that my speaking engagement would be canceled. But when I walked to the elevator, the executive's assistant came to tell me how impressed her boss had been with my presentation. I was shocked and asked how he would have reacted had he not liked it. "Oh," said the assistant, her smile acknowledging that she had previously seen that reaction as well. "He would have gotten up in the middle of your presentation and walked out!"
The only nonverbal signals that I had received from that CEO were ones I judged to be negative. What I didn't realize was that, for this individual, this was normal behavior.

5. They judge body lanaguage through the bias of their own culture

When we talk about culture, we're generally talking about a set of shared values that a group of people holds. And while some of a culture's values are taught explicitly, most of them are absorbed subconsciously - at a very early age.
Such values affect how members of the group think and act and, more importantly, the kind of criteria by which they judge others. Cultural meanings render some nonverbal behaviors as normal and right and others as strange or wrong. From greetings to hand gestures to the use of space and touch, what's proper and correct in one culture may be ineffective - or even offensive - in another. For example, in North America, the correct way to wave hello and good-bye is palm out, fingers extended, with the hand moving side to side. That same gesture means "no" throughout Mediterranean Europe and Latin America. In Peru it means "come here," and in Greece, where it's called the moutza, the gesture is a serious insult. The closer the hand to the other person's face, in fact, the more threatening it is considered to be.
So just remember: Body language cues are undeniable. But to accurately decode them, they need to be understood in context, viewed in clusters, evaluated in relation to what is being said, assessed for consistency, and filtered for cultural influences.
If you do so, you'll be well on your way to gaining the nonverbal advantage!

by Carol Kinsey Goman, Ph.D

http://www.hodu.com/mistakes.shtml

The Five Biggest Mistakes Women Make About Love

I learned from the philosophy, Aesthetic Realism, that our biggest purpose in life is to like the world through knowing it. Whether we are on the phone with a friend, listening to music, talking to our mother, or with a man, our deepest hope is to care more for the world through seeing meaning in it. We make our biggest mistakes about love because we use a man to be against the rest of the world instead of using him to know and like it more.

My gratitude for learning this is huge! After years of feeling I would never understand why I had so much pain as to love, I now have a passionate love for the man who became my husband, and a feeling of self-respect I didn't think was possible.

Aesthetic Realism is a great, wide education, true about the human mind and all reality. Eli Siegel, American poet and critic, and founder of Aesthetic Realism, is in my opinion the most important educator ever to live. He understood the central cause of pain in people's lives--the desire in every person to have contempt, which he defined as “the lessening of what is not oneself as a means of self-increase as one sees it.”

1. THE BEGINNING MISTAKE

The beginning mistake is for two people to be in a team to despise the rest of the world. When someone acted as if he adored me and everything else paled, I thought it was love, but it never succeeded; and one relationship after another ended--I was getting worn out and jaded. I wrote in my diary: “I don't listen in my classes...the people in [them] plus the teacher are so stupid...I would much rather think about Steve.” I can remember being at a party with a man, our giving each other smoldering looks and mocking people; the next day I felt listless, had a pounding headache, and I remember thinking the streets looked ugly.

When you want to use someone to like the world, you want other people and things to mean more to you, not less. What a difference it is these days, for instance, to walk down the

street with Kevin. Sometimes we point things out to each other, like, “Look at the way the sunlight is hitting that building!” and I feel I like the world more, and I love him more, both at the same time.

2. MISTAKE #2: WE FEEL WE'RE MADE OF FINER STUFF

Women have a tendency to think their feelings are fine china and a man’s are like paper plates. In other words, we think we're superior: we may need him, but he isn't worth really knowing. I was so lucky at 25 to begin my exciting study of Aesthetic Realism. It showed me that knowing another person is a big thing—bigger than knowing all the works of Shakespeare! The reason is, a person is indefinitely deep, and related to everything in the whole world. In one consultation I was asked: “Have you felt only women were too deep for words?” I did. And they asked: “Do you think you have an unquenchable desire to make fun of a man?...Your style is, “Don't ask too much of him, pity him, and have contempt.” This was so true! I didn't see how it had stopped me from really being able to care for someone.

3. MISTAKE #3: WE WANT TO OWN A MAN

In a 1950 lecture published in the international journal, The Right of Aesthetic Realism to Be Known #606, Eli Siegel says:

What happens most often, is that through loving one person, we get to be less interested in people. We have a notion that since we've caged a person, our job of understanding other persons is over: we've got our choice, so why trouble ourselves any more?

This describes a crucial mistake women make. Once I had “caged” a man, I saw him as personal property I could treat any way I wanted, and other people didn't matter. Wanting to own someone, resenting his having to do with anything else--people he works with, the baseball game he is watching, the book he is reading, his family, his friends--always leads to feeling suffocated, jealous and furious.

The one alternative is to see that a person comes from the world, and is as mysterious as reality itself: he has a whole past, hopes, fears, unknown possibilities. Aesthetic Realism teaches that, like reality itself, a man is a oneness of opposites such as toughness and tenderness, inside

and outside, energy and repose. Studying this, a woman feels proud and free as she sees a man is endlessly related to everything, including great art and everyday objects: a portrait by Van Gogh, a mountain, a rose.

4. MISTAKE #4: WE WANT HIM TO BE WEAKER

I learned the greatest suspicion men have of women is they want them to be weaker. One of the ways I tried to weaken men, and women do, is through using sex to have power, seeing men as easily fooled brutes. With all my victories, I loathed myself for this. Aesthetic Realism taught me the only purpose a woman will ever respect herself for having, as to sex or anything else, is good will: the hope that a person be as good as he can be. In an Aesthetic Realism consultation, my consultants said:

A woman can have good will for a man through a kiss. [She can feel]...if I apply my lips to his, I'll make him stronger. Do you think when your lips have been close to the lips of a man, your desire has been to have him strong, clear, to like himself--or to be foolish over you?

I answered, “To be foolish over me.” “That,” they explained, “is why things have been so murkily complicated.”

5. MISTAKE #5: WE THINK WE KNOW WHAT A MAN WANTS MOST

Aesthetic Realism shows with kind logic that a person's biggest impulsion is not to have sex, but to know and like the world. In his great work, Self and World, Eli Siegel explains:

Sex is the intense, inescapable, tremendous representative of the necessity of a person to complete himself by seeing that whatever else exists is related to him; and indeed is he. Sex, seen fully, is intellectual, has knowledge to it, is philosophic. It is the symbolic, joyful junction of two bodies or selves: symbolical of the joy there would be were a self to accept the world entirely and see its freedom on doing so.

What a man wants most, I learned, is to be fair to things outside of himself, and to be known truly. He wants a woman close to him to be a means of his true strength and ease through

wanting him to be in the best relation to everything. When a woman sees how much a man wants criticism of where he can be better, and she wants to have good will by being an exacting, compassionate critic of herself and a man, there can be love--the real thing--which lasts and gets better as time goes on.

http://www.carolmccluer.net/Articles/5%20Biggest%20Mistakes.pdf

Common Home Building Mistakes

Even though we all have idealistic dreams of the way we want our house to look, it is important that you take certain things into consideration before your dreams turn into a nightmare.

Below are the six most common mistakes that are committed when it comes to home building:

1. Not leaving it to the experts

We try saving money where ever possible which is highly understandable. However what you have to realize is that getting a professional architecture to design your house is very important. They are qualified individuals like a doctor that go through the entire process of studying through university and giving exams before they are eligible to call themselves qualified architecture. It is important that you lay the initial foundation correctly so that everything else falls into place.

2. Do it yourself

With the aim of trying to save a lot of money, many people tend to take on the responsibility of managing their home project themselves. Even though you may feel that this way could save you a lot of money, in actual fact it could end up costing you more due to lack of experience, knowledge and expertise.

A recent quote for taken from a professional architect, Ron Safapour claiming the importance of hiring professional home builders and architects for the right job. He said that based on the type of home you are after, the type of architect and home builder will vary drastically so it is important to get it right.

3 Stick to your initial plans. Avoid Changes.

Planning is the key to success. What you have to realize is that this is not a computerized program that can easily shuffle things around accordingly to how you want. The whole process of building a home is one that requires a lot of time, planning and commitment. Once the architect and engineer have gone ahead with the plans that have been finalised do not change your mind about what you wanted. It is common for people once everything is done to say “can I move the door to this place instead”.

Not only will that waste a lot of time but will also cost you a fortune. The planning process is vitally important and can not be stressed enough with your architect and engineer. Make sure you get everything right the first time round unless you have money lying around to waste.

4 Don’t cut corners

We do understand that everyone is currently going through financial difficulties which usually cause them to cut corners when it comes to certain expenses. With regards to cutting corners it is fine to cut back on luxury items such as imported furniture but it is highly important that one does not cut corners when it comes to the initial layout and foundation of the house such as the roof, tiles, walls etc.

5. Don’t pay up front

Another common mistake is paying the builder in advance for work they still have to do. Never do this. If the builder is not willing to work without you paying him up front then you will be better of looking for another contractor.

6. Make a realistic budget

It is quite common for one to always go over their planned budget as they are never calculated realistically. For this reason it is very important that you take some time to sit down and plan a realistic budget to ensure that you do not over spend in the process.

How to Help Haiti's Orphans

Adoptions are expedited as advocates around the globe work to help Haiti's orphans.

Prior to last week's earthquake, Haiti was already home to 380,000 orphans (according to the United Nations Children's Fund). While the new figure remains unknown, it only continues to grow as more children are in need of homes than ever before.

Advocacy groups around the globe are working frantically to expedite already in-progress adoptions, to send rescue workers to evacuate children and petitioning the government to grant special permission to enter the US.

According to the Associated Press, on Monday, Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced an emergency humanitarian program, that will allow Haitian orphans to enter the US temporarily on a case-by-case basis. Thanks to this policy, 53 children were flown into Pittsburgh early Tuesday, escorted by the state's governor Edward Rendell. He told CNN, "adoptions are already underway for 47 of the children: 40 to the US, four to Spain and three to Canada." But this was no small feat; 14 of those kids were missing paperwork, presumably lost in the rubble. Fortunately, Gov. Rendell and Rep. Jason Altmire refused to take no for an answer, and pushed until the US granted humanitarian parole for all 14 kids. By the time they did, however, the plane to Pennsylvania was already in transit. Altmire flew with the kids in a military cargo plane.

On a smaller scale, another promising story recently took place in Florida. Mindy and Oyvind Haehre began the process to adopt Dayana,7, and Moise, 5, back in 2008. The plan was to bring them home to Loveland, Colo. next month, but the earthquake moved things along. Dayana and Moise survived the earthquake (as did all the other children of the orphanage) and were flown to Fort Lauderdale to meet their new family, including siblings Silje and Jakob. The Haehres were able to spend their first days as a family enjoying the sun and sand. Nothing short of a miracle, considering what their fate may have been.

And, while much of this sounds like nothing more than red-tape disasters waiting to happen, it's not necessarily the worst thing that could happen. Children's safety is the number one priority right now. Groups such as The Joint Council on International Children's Services and UNICEF are on high alert to protect the rights of Haiti's youngest victims. While crisis like this can bring out the best in humanity, it can also lend itself to the worst. In a January 19th statement, UNICEF's Executive Director Ann Venemen said:

We are extremely concerned about the situation of children in Haiti, many of whom have become separated from their families and caregivers. These children face increased risks of malnutrition and disease, trafficking, sexual exploitation and serious emotional trauma. The race to provide them with life-saving emergency food and medicine, safe shelter, protection, and care is underway.This is only the beginning.

Stories like the one in Pittsburgh are developing around the world as you read this. On Wednesday a Dutch charter plane is scheduled to bring 109 children to the Netherlands. While it is likely too soon to start a new adoption, there's much to be done right now. To learn more or help create safe, positive futures for the children of Haiti check out these sites:

http://www.tonic.com/article/how-to-help-haiti-orphans/

Walking Tips: 10 mistakes to avoid while walking.

Walking the right way can give you better health, fitness and attitude. It can help you walk faster and more smoothly.

Walking the wrong way can lead to wasted effort or even injury, not to mention ridicule.

1. Over striding: When walkers try to walk faster, a natural inclination is to lengthen your stride in front, reaching out further with your forward foot. This leads to a clumsy, ungainly gait, striking hard with the feet. Your skins hurt and you really don’t get any faster. To cure: all of the power of your walk comes from pushing with the back leg and foot. Shorter, Quicker Steps: If you are trying to walk fast, concentrate on taking shorter, quicker steps. Roll Through, Push Off: Then think of really rolling through your step with your back foot and leg, getting a good push off. The result will be faster feet and lengthening your stride where it does you some good – in back.
   
   
2. The Wrong Shoes: Not all “walking shoes” are good for walking. If this describes your shoes, you are setting yourself up for plantar facilities, muscle pulls and knee problems. Heavy: Walking shoes should be lightweight. Stiff: soles won’t bend, can’t twist them. Walking shoes should be flexible so you don’t fight them as your foot rolls through the step. Over 1 year old: The cushioning and support in your shoes degrades, you should replace your shoes every 500 miles. Too small: Your feet swell when you take a sustained walk. Your walking shoes should be larger than your dress shoes if you walk for 30 minutes or more for exercise. The cure: Get fit for the right shoes at a technical running shoe store in your area. The athletic shoe experts will make sure you get the right shoe for over-pronation, flexible enough for walking, sized right for the swelling everyone’s feet have while walking.
   
   
3. Flapping, Slapping Feet: Instead of rolling through the step with your forward foot from heel to toe, your foot is flattening out prematurely. Either you are fighting stiff, heavy shoes or your shins are too weak to let you roll through the step. Symptoms: Your feet hit the ground with a slap. You land flat footed with each step and get no roll. You may develop shin pain. The cure: Get flexible shoes that bend at the ball of the foot. A pair of running shoes with a low heel is best. To strengthen your shins, ankle, and lower leg: Do toe raises: Stand on a stair facing upstairs with your heels hanging over the edge. Dip the heels down, and then raise them high. Repeat 10 – 20 times. Foot fun: While sitting around, several times a day, tap your toes quickly for several seconds. Then write the alphabet in the air with your foot. Repeat with the other foot. Heel walking: as part of your warm-up, walk on your heels for 30 seconds.
   
   
4. No Arms: You keep your arms still at your sides while walking, or swing them without bending them. You notice that your hands swell quite a bit while walking. A normal walking motion uses the arms to counterbalance the leg motion. A walker can add power and speed by using the arms effectively. Long, straight arms act like a long pendulum, slowing you down. The cure: Bend your arms 90 degrees and swing them naturally back and forth opposite the leg motion.
   
   
5. Chicken Winging: Ok, you know to bend your arms when you walk. But you swing them from side to side, crossing the center of your body and extending out to endanger passersby, or your fists come up on each swing past your breast, up even to your chin or threatening your nose. The cure: Keep your elbows close to your body and swing your arms mostly back and forward, as if reaching for your wallet from a back pocket on the backstroke. As they come forward, your hands should not cross the centerline and should come up no further than your breasts. This arm motion will give power to your walk. Your feet generally move only as fast as your arms. This motion lets you concentrate on power from your rear leg without wasting motion in front of your body. It also looks far less silly.
   
   
6. Head Down: You are always looking down, hanging your head and staring at your feet. The cure: Look up! Good posture for walking allows you to breathe well and provides a long bodyline to prevent problems with your back, neck and shoulders. Chin up when walking – it should be parallel to the ground. Your eyes should focus on the street or track 10 – 20 feet ahead. You’ll avoid doggy doo-doo, find cracks in the sidewalk, spot potential muggers and still collect the occasional coin.
   
   
7. Leaning: You lean forward more than 5 degrees. You lean back. You have a sway back with or without a forward lean. Somewhere you read to lean forward when walking. Or, you may be leaning back on your hips. Leaning forward or backwards or holding you back swayed can all result in back pain and do not contribute to speed or good technique. The cure: Stand up straight but with relaxed shoulders, chin up and parallel to the ground. Think about walking tall. Think “suck in your gut, tuck in your but.” Your back should have a natural curve, do not force it into an unnatural sway with behind out back, stomach out forward. Strengthen your abdominal muscles through sit-ups and other exercised so you are able to hold yourself straighter.
   
   
8. The Wrong Clothes: You walk at night wearing dark colored clothing with not reflective stripes or a safety vest. You are always wearing too much or not enough; end up sweaty and clammy in any weather. No hat. The cure: To prevent becoming a hood ornament, wear a mesh reflective safety vest bought at a local biking or running shop or put reflective strips on your night-time walking outfit. Many running shoes have reflective elements, but studies show it is best to have several reflective elements on to be seen from all directions. For walking comfort, dress in layers. The inner should be of a fabric such as CoolMax or polypropylene that will wick sweat away from your body to evaporate – not cotton, which holds it in next to the skin. The next layer should be insulating – a shirt or sweater easily removed if you warm up. The outer layer should be a jacket that is windproof, and waterproof or water-resistant in wet climates. Hats are essential equipment. They insulate you so you warm up faster. They shield the top of your head from the sun – an area where it is hard to apply sunscreen unless you are bald, but still burns. Hats with visors also shield your face from the sun exposure.
   
   
9. Not Drinking Enough: You don’t drink enough water before, during and after walking. The cure: Drink a glass of water every hour throughout the day to stay hydrated. Ten minutes before your walk, drink a glass of water. During your walk drink a cup or more of water every 20 minutes. After you finish, drink a glass or two of water. Avoid caffeine beverages before your walk, they cause you to lose fluid, making you thirstier as well as making you take inconvenient stops the wrong way. On walks over 2 hours, use an electrolyte- replacement sport drink and drink when thirsty. On long distance walks, drink then thirsty and be sure to replenish salt with a sports drink rather than drinking only water.
   
   
10. Over training: You walk and walk and walk. But you have lost your enthusiasm. You feel tired, irritable. You always have aches and pains. You may be overdoing it. The cure: Even the creator rested on the seventh day. Take a day off now and then to let your body repair, build up muscle and store up some energy to get you back on the road again. If you just can’t stand a true day off, do some upper body weight training instead of walking and lower bodywork.

www.eiu.edu/~humanres/forms/Walking%20Tips_10.doc -

Most common driving mistakes

A lot of us start doing it as teens, quickly find out that we love it, then spend much of our adult lives in the act until we’re physically unable to do it any longer… we’re referring to driving, naturally. As much as we love doing it, we’re not perfect. For those of us who consciously try to execute our techniques as well as possible, it seems like we’re always sharing the road with others who make common driving mistakes that often endanger us all. This isn’t about road rage; that’s a different discussion altogether.

This is about driving mistakes that some make without realizing they’re doing them or that they are even mistakes in the first place.

No.10 - Turbo neglect

Turbochargers were somewhat of a novelty in the ‘80s, but their popularity is on the rise again. Today’s turbos are generally tougher and exhibit less lag, but they still need oil in order to avoid spinning themselves into scrap metal. Their neglect is a perennial common driving mistake. And it’s one that’s easily avoided. It’s basically just a matter of a quick warm-up and cool-down period of idling before and after each drive. For how long? That depends on your car, your driving style and the oil you use. Consult your owner’s manual and talk to a qualified service tech for better details, but make sure you do show your turbo some love.

No.9 - Faulty mirror positioning

Even though you’re going forward most of the time, you have to know what’s behind you at a glance, without craning your neck or taking your eyes off the road for longer than necessary. If you drive in a rural area, it’s especially helpful. If you drive in an urban area, it’s a must. And that’s just in everyday driving. Hook up a trailer to your vehicle, and you’re suddenly going to need your mirrors more than ever. Where most people fail miserably with their mirror positioning is with their side mirrors. Ask anyone what they see when they look in their side mirrors and they’ll most likely say a bit of the back of their car, possibly the rear passenger door handle at the least, and the road. Well, the color of your car isn’t about to change, so you don’t actually need to see your own car in your side mirrors. Angle them out just a smidgen more so you don’t see your car at all and you’ll eliminate a blind spot.

No.8 - Using your clutch as a brake

Take your average car with a manual gearbox: That pedal on the left has a rather limited scope of purpose, and holding the car in place isn’t included in that purpose. This common driving mistake happens when a driver stops while going uphill. Rather than keep his foot on the brake, he stays stationary by giving the car a little gas and holding the clutch around the point of engagement. If we have to tell you why this is no good for your car, please do us all a favor and buy an automatic.

No.7 - Riding the brakes

That pedal to the left of the accelerator also has a specific mission, and there’s no good reason to try stopping and going at once (two-footing or heal-toe can be a useful technique in performance driving, but we’re talking about everyday driving here). Your car works harder to maintain speed, your brakes wear faster and your brake lights are on more. Cars behind you can’t always differentiate from brake riding and a legitimate need to slow down, at least not always in time. Fundamental as that may sound, riding the brakes is still a common driving mistake too many people make. Pay attention to your left foot and only use it when necessary -- your fellow drivers and car will thank you for it in the end.

No.6 - Poor turning technique

Some guys don’t realize there’s a whole science to turning; an art, even. If they’re lucky, they’ll only look foolish; less lucky, and metal gets bent. You don’t have to clip apexes perfectly on city streets; just using a single lane would be greatly appreciated. When you change direction and wander across lanes in the process, you’re exhibiting a common driving mistake that could end with a collision. Make your turn in your own lane, then signal and for goodness sake, you don’t need to do 5 mph around the corner either.

No.5 - Running daytime lights at night

We’ve come to take daytime running lights for granted, sometimes leaving our lights in that mode after dark. With some cars, that’s not enough. Depending on your vehicle, your headlights may be dimmer and your taillights may not be on at all. It’s a common driving mistake that’s not always caught in city driving, since there are typically so many other sources of light at night. But on the highway, this could mean the difference between life and death; if your taillights aren’t on, you’re not visible to other motorists on the road, not to mention you’ll have much less visibility in front of you. So, make the effort and turn the lever one notch up on the left-hand side. Not so hard now, is it?

No.4 - Leaving high beams on

It’s a not-so-bright move, leaving your high beams on when it’s unnecessary and/or unsafe. This common driving mistake is annoying, plus it can cause accidents by blinding oncoming traffic or distracting cars ahead of you. If you can distinguish multiple headlights or tail lights in the distance, low beams are the way to go. Plus, in fog and sometimes rain and snow as well, you’re actually decreasing your visible reach with the high beams. And if you have aftermarket driving lights, keep them aimed low and aligned as well. We realize that it’s possible to accidentally knock your high beams on when signaling to turn etc., but that’s precisely why most vehicle’s feature a bright blue warning light on your gauge cluster that lets you know your highs are on. However, should you be blinded by other unknown high-beam users, it’s possible you may just miss this blatantly obvious warning light.

No.3 - Driving slow in the passing lane

We all need our space, but the place to declare it is not the left lane. Lingering over there while traffic builds behind is a common driving mistake that only perpetuates more bad behavior, like tailgating and unsafe passing. Safety Nazis may argue that it’s perfectly acceptable to be in any lane they choose if they’re driving the speed limit. Yet, if that invokes dangerous driving maneuvers from others, how is the road a safer place? Look at it this way: Keep an eye on your rearview and let traffic pass. They’ll pay the price for their speedy ways when they find the radar for you.

No.2 - Faulty signaling

Here’s a common driving mistake that can stick for generations. Faulty signaling can be conspicuous by its absence in some younger drivers. Later, as if subconsciously atoning for the past, some older drivers let theirs flash for miles. Regardless of age, you’re best off to use them for turns and lane changes only. When driving in the same lane of the highway for hours on end, especially in traffic, you can give the turn signal a rest, please. Besides, aren’t you sick of hearing that incessant clicking?

No.1 - Faulty seat position

Many of us sit too far back, and in positions that compromise our control. For example, when you’re slouched over the center armrest and have one arm slung over the wheel so you look cool (which by the way, you don’t), your ability to avoid a collision is next to impossible. Don't believe us? Look at race car drivers. They’re sitting up, and don’t have to hyper-extend their arms or legs to reach the wheel or work the pedals. Their hands -- all two of 'em -- are on the wheel in the nine-and-three position (the new ten-and-two). If you think you’re sitting too far or too close, position yourself as you normally would in your car and extend your arms out to the wheel; if you can extend you hands past the wheel so the wheel touches your wrists, your seatback is in the correct position. Now, check that when you are seated you can comfortably press your entire foot into the floor behind the break pedal without your hip or thigh rising off the seat. Sitting properly could mean the difference between life or death in a quick-reaction situation and fatal injuries and scraps and bruises in the event of an accident.

http://ca.autos.yahoo.com/p/1139/most-common-driving-mistakes

5 most common travel mistakes — and how to fix them

Waiting. That’s the worst mistake a traveler can make these days.

It’s what Femi Adenuga did after buying tickets for his parents to fly from Lagos to Pittsburgh through Travelocity. “A week after the purchase, while e-mailing the itinerary to my dad, my eye caught a single letter error in my mother’s first name,” said Adenuga, a college student. He contacted Travelocity, which got in touch with Delta Air Lines, which urged him to cancel the ticket and buy a new one.

Delta’s official ticket name policy, outlined on its site, is abundantly unclear: “In general, Delta and Northwest do not allow a name to be changed on an existing PNR.” (A PNR is shorthand for Passenger Name Record, which is a fancy way to describe your itinerary.)

In general?

I can think of lots of exceptions, including this memorable case involving a canceled destination wedding and a ticket that needed to be changed for obvious reasons. But I digress.

Adenuga shouldn’t have waited to review the names on his tickets. As I’ve mentioned a time or two, many travel agencies can change a ticket name if the error is caught quickly. A week later, you’re pretty much at the mercy of your airline.

I’m dedicating this column to travel mistakes, a topic will be familiar to anyone who reads this feature or follows my misadventures as National Geographic Traveler magazine’s ombudsman. I haven’t collected all of my favorite travel errors in a single column in a while, and the industry has changed. Not necessarily for the better, I might add.

Travelocity tried to help Adenuga, to no avail. Delta refused to change one letter, instead telling the online agency it would “make a notation” in the record, but adding that it couldn’t guarantee authorities would allow his mother into the country. Based on that advice, Adenuga bought a new ticket, and Delta issued a voucher for the amount of the first ticket.

Can you say “absurd”?

So here it is: Review every reservation you make online or offline immediately. If there’s a problem, speak up. Airlines that refuse to make reasonable name change to correct an obvious typographical error — well, that’s a topic for another time. Let’s just say these are not nice people and leave it at that, for now.

What other kinds of mistake should you avoid when you travel?

Not inspecting your rental car when you pick it up
When Alan Chim rented a car from Thrifty in Montreal, he didn’t notice any damage to his vehicle in the dark garage. But no employee was there to sign off on the car. “On return, the agent inspected the vehicle and noticed a tiny scratch on the front driver-side door,” he told me. “The attendant made me fill out an incident report and said I’d be hearing back within three to six weeks.” (Its damage claim against him is still pending as I write this.) This mistake is relatively easy to avoid. Find someone who works for the car rental company and ask for a sign-off. Note any damage, even the smallest dent or scratch. Here’s some good news: Hertz just began a program to start taking pre-rental pictures of its cars. You might consider getting a snapshot of your vehicle, too.

Not buying insurance for your cruise
Lisa Olson missed her Carnival cruise because of an airline delay. “We did call before the cruise departed to see if there was any other cruise leaving around the same time that we could change to, and there was not, so we had to cancel,” she told me. At that point, Olson could have made a claim on her travel insurance — if she had it. She didn’t.

Every day, I get e-mails from readers like her, wondering if the cruise line will cut them any slack or at least credit them for a future cruise. They almost never do. They could, but the most common cruise line argument I hear against it is that it “undermines” the highly-profitable travel insurance that cruise lines sell with their product. Which brings me to another point: Shop around before buying cancellation insurance. Get a few quotes before settling on a policy. The insurance your cruise line recommends may not be the best product for you.

Staying at a hotel with a resort fee
Tabby Stone found himself at one recently: Planet Hollywood in Las Vegas, where he was attending a conference. The mandatory $4.99-a-night fee supposedly covered phone calls, in-room bottled water and “additional inclusions” (whatever that is). “When I asked why the fee wasn’t just part of the base rate, since it was mandatory, the clerk replied that the management makes it a separate fee because if it’s part of the base rate they have to pay a commission on it,” he says. I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again: Don’t give your business to a hotel that charges a mandatory resort fee. It’s like feeding the pigeons. They’ll keep coming back for more.

Using a credit card that charges foreign transaction fees
Take a good look at your credit card. Check the fine print in your cardmember agreement. Does it charge a “foreign transaction fee”? Many do. No, I’m not talking about a foreign exchange fee, a dubious surcharge that covers the cost of exchanging dollars into other currencies. Those have been replaced by foreign transaction fees .

One reader booked airline tickets from Mumbai to New York through Qatar Airways on Expedia. But when his Citibank credit card bill arrived, it contained a surprise $44 transaction fee. Why? Because Qatar Airways was not based in the United States, even though the transaction took place entirely in dollars. The best way to avoid a foreign transaction surprise is to use a card like Capital One, which not only doesn’t impose any transaction fees, but also absorbs the 1 percent fee that Visa or MasterCard charges it for a cross-border transaction. There’s no telling what other fees credit card companies will come up with in the future, but for now, this one is certainly among the most creative.

So that’s my top five list. What’s yours? What mistakes have you made while you’re traveling?

But before I sign off this week, a word to the readers I mentioned in this story: You are in good company. Every week, I get dozens of calls and e-mails with identical problems. I’ve made all of these mistakes — every one of them — too. So don’t feel singled out.

There’s no better way to learn than to make a mistake. Or two.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com

Five Common Interview Dress Mistakes

Are you sure your interview outfit is making a winning impression? You may think you look just fine, but when it comes to a job interview every detail of your appearance counts, including your grooming choices. Here are five common mistakes that you should be aware of when dressing for an interview.

1. Wearing clothing that fits poorly - An outfit that does not fit well, can leave the interviewer with the impression that you are not accustomed to dressing appropriately or that you simply do not care enough to dress well. Loose clothing can look sloppy and the discomfort of tight clothing can be very distracting. Make sure your attire fits you well, especially when you are sitting down.

2. Wearing clothing that is too revealing - Skirts that are too short are a common problem for women and can be deemed unprofessional by an interviewer. Always sit down in your skirt to make sure it has enough leg coverage, especially if it has a slit. In addition, your top should not be too sheer, low-cut or sleeveless.

3. Wearing too much jewelry - Clanking bracelets, multiple rings and dangling earrings can be very distracting to an interviewer. Women should wear 2-3 minimal, conservative pieces of jewelry. Men may also want to avoid earrings.

4. Ignoring your feet - A great outfit can be ruined by a poor choice of footwear. It can also give the impression that you do not pay attention to the details. Men should wear dressy, dark, polished shoes with matching dark socks. Women should wear dressy, closed shoes and should avoid high, overly-sexy or strappy heels.

5. Making risky grooming choices - You can really make a statement with your choice of hairstyle, make up and fingernails. Just make sure the statement does not have the potential to turn off your interviewer. It is best to choose styles that are minimal and professional.

The above may not seem like a big deal, but you do not want to leave the interviewer with a doubtful impression about your judgment, capabilities and ability to fit in. For more examples and details on how to dress for an interview, visit our Interviewing Skills topic.

Be sure to check out all of our other Career topics.

http://blog.gcflearnfree.org/2010/01/04/five-common-interview-dress-mistakes/