Do you make these 10 mistakes in a conversation?

Can you improve your conversation skills? Certainly.

It might take a while to change the conversation habits that’s been ingrained throughout your life, but it is very possible.

To not make this article longer than necessary let’s just skip right to some common mistakes many of us have made in conversations. And a couple of solutions.

Not listening
Ernest Hemingway once said:

“I like to listen. I have learned a great deal from listening carefully. Most people never listen.”

Don’t be like most people. Don’t just wait eagerly for your turn to talk. Put your own ego on hold. Learn to really listen to what people actually are saying.

When you start to really listen, you’ll pick up on loads of potential paths in the conversation. But avoid yes or no type of questions as they will not give you much information. If someone mentions that they went fishing with a couple of friends last weekend you can for instance ask:

§                     Where did you go fishing?

§                     What do you like most about fishing?

§                     What did you do there besides fishing?

The person will delve deeper into the subject giving you more information to work with and more paths for you choose from.

If they say something like: “Oh, I don’t know” at first, don’t give up. Prod a little further. Ask again. They do know, they just have to think about a bit more. And as they start to open up the conversation becomes more interesting because it’s not on auto-pilot anymore.

Asking too many questions
If you ask too many questions the conversation can feel like a bit of an interrogation. Or like you don’t have that much too contribute. One alternative is to mix questions with statements. Continuing the conversation above you could skip the question and say:

§                     Yeah, it’s great to just get out with your friends and relax over the weekend. We like to take a six-pack out to the park and play some Frisbee golf.

§                     Nice. We went out in my friend’s boat last month and I tried these new lures from Sakamura. The blue ones were really great.

And then the conversation can flow on from there. And you can discuss Frisbee golf, the advantages/disadvantages of different lures or your favourite beer.

Tightening up
When in conversation with someone you just meet or when the usual few topics are exhausted an awkward silence or mood might appear. Or you might just become nervous not knowing exactly why.

§                     Leil Lowndes once said: “Never leave home without reading the newspaper.” If you’re running out of things to say, you can always start talking about the current news. It’s also good to stay updated on current water cooler-topics. Like what happened on the latest episode of Lost.

§                     Comment on the aquarium at the party, or that one girl’s cool Halloween-costume or the host’s mp3-playlist. You can always start new conversations about something in your surroundings.

§                     Assume rapport. If you feel nervous or weird when meeting someone for the first time assume rapport. What that means is that you imagine how you feel when you meet one of your best friends. And pretend that this new acquaintance is one of your best friends. Don’t overdo it though, you might not want to hug and kiss right away. But if you imagine this you’ll go into a positive emotional state. And you’ll greet and start talking to this new person with a smile and a friendly and relaxed attitude. Because that’s how you talk to your friends. It might sound a bit loopy or too simple. But it really works.

Poor delivery
One of the most important things in a conversation is not what you say, but how you say it. A change in these habits can make a big difference since your voice and body language is a vital part of communication. Some things to think about:

§                     Slowing down. When you get excited about something it’s easy to start talking faster and faster. Try and slow down. It will make it much easier for people to listen and for you actually get what you are saying across to them.

§                     Speaking up. Don’t be afraid to talk as loud as you need to for people to hear you.

§                     Speaking clearly. Don’t mumble.

§                     Speak with emotion. No one listens for that long if you speak with a monotone voice. Let your feelings be reflected in your voice.

§                     Using pauses. Slowing down your talking plus adding a small pause between thoughts or sentences creates a bit of tension and anticipation. People will start to listen more attentively to what you’re saying. Listen to one of Brian Tracys cds or Steve Pavlina’s podcasts. Listen to how using small pauses makes what they are saying seem even more interesting.

§                     Learn a bit about improving your body language as it can make your delivery a lot more effective. Read about laughter, posture and how to hold your drink in 18 ways to improve your body language.

Hogging the spot-light
I’ve been guilty of this one on more occasions than I wish to remember. Everyone involved in a conversation should get their time in the spotlight. Don’t interrupt someone when they are telling some anecdote or their view on what you are discussing to divert the attention back to yourself. Don’t hijack their story about skiing before it’s finished to share your best skiing-anecdote. Find a balance between listening and talking.

Having to be right
Avoid arguing and having to being right about every topic. Often a conversation is not really a discussion. It’s a more of a way to keep a good mood going. No one will be that impressed if you “win” every conversation. Instead just sit back, relax and help keep the good feelings going.

Talking about a weird or negative topic
If you’re at a party or somewhere were you are just getting to know some people you might want to avoid some topics. Talking about your bad health or relationships, your crappy job or boss, serial killers, technical lingo that only you and some other guy understands or anything that sucks the positive energy out of the conversation are topics to steer clear from. You might also want to save religion and politics for conversations with your friends.

Being boring
Don’t prattle on about your new car for 10 minutes oblivious to your surroundings. Always be prepared to drop a subject when you start to bore people. Or when everyone is getting bored and the topic is starting to run out of steam.

One good way to have something interesting to say is simply to lead an interesting life. And to focus on the positive stuff. Don’t start to whine about your boss or your job, people don’t want to hear that. Instead, talk about your last trip somewhere, some funny anecdote that happened while you where buying clothes, your plans for New Years Eve or something funny or exciting.

Another way is just to be genuinely interested. As Dale Carnegie said:

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming really interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you. Which is just another way of saying that the way to make a friend is to be one.”

Knowing a little about many things or at least being open to talk about them instead of trying to steer the conversation back to your favourite subject is a nice quality.

Meaning: talking for what seems like hours about one topic. Topics may include work, favourite rock-band, TV-show and more work.

Opening up a bit and not clinging desperately to one topic will make the conversation feel more relaxed and open. You will come across like a person who can talk about many things with ease. As you’ve probably experienced with other people; this quality is something you appreciate in a conversation and makes you feel like you can connect to that person easily.

Not reciprocating
Open up and say what you think, share how you feel. If someone shares an experience, open up too and share one of your experiences. Don’t just stand there nodding and answer with short sentences. If someone is investing in the conversation they’d like you to invest too.

Like in so many areas in life, you can’t always wait for the other party to make the first move. When needed, be proactive and be the first one to open up and invest in the conversation. One way is by replacing some questions with statements. It makes you less passive and makes take a sort of stand.

Not contributing much
You might feel that you don’t have much to contribute to a conversation. But try anyway. Really listen and be interested in what the others are saying. Ask questions. Make relating statements.

Open your eyes too. Develop your observational skills to pick up interesting stuff in your surroundings to talk about. Develop your personal knowledge-bank by expanding your view of interesting things in the world. Read the newspapers and keep an eye on new water cooler-topics.

Work on your body language, how you talk and try assuming rapport to improve your communication skills.

But take it easy. Don’t do it all at once. You’ll just feel confused and overwhelmed. Instead, pick out the three most important things that you feel needs improving. Work on them every day for 3-4 weeks. Notice the difference and keep at it. Soon your new habits will start to pop up spontaneously when you are in a conversation.

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2006/11/05/do-you-make-these-10-mistakes-in-a-conversation/

10 Wedding Reception Mistakes

Every bride wants a fairytale wedding. Therefore, this article is to try and minimize problems that may occur during a wedding reception. Listed below are the more common mistakes made by brides and grooms during your wedding reception. We will tell you what to do! 

Don't get drunk and obnoxious. Keep in mind the only time brides and grooms eat during the wedding day rituals are at the wedding reception. There's not much food in your stomach and alcohol will affect you much faster. Try and eat throughout the day and watch how much you drink. You want your guests to remember how beautiful the bride looked, not how you acted. 

Don't leave early. Your guests came from near and far to see you on your wedding day. Not staying the whole time of the reception would be a slap in the face. This will be the only time most of your family and friends will be able to see you as you will be very busy with last minute preparations the days leading up to the wedding. 

Setup all the tables. Your wedding vendors will need to know where to set-up. Be sure there is a table for the wedding cake, music entertainment, catered food, Sign-in near the entrance, gift table, tables and chairs for all your guests to eat and any other tables you may have planned for specialty items. 

Preplan with your vendors a day or two before the wedding. Be sure all your wedding vendors know exactly what you want. Clarify times and location so you don't need to worry about them. 

Don't arrive late to the reception. It is customary that guests do not start eating until the bride and groom start the food line. Be sure to get as many of your pictures taken BEFORE the wedding. There are many ways to accomplish this. One is to have the entire bride's family pictures taken. Then, have the bride return to the dressing room. Next, take pictures of the groom and his family as guests can see the groom before the wedding. This way you will not compromise the groom seeing the bride before the wedding. Therefore, all that is left after the ceremony are pictures of the happy couple. 

Don't seat the young at heart directly in front of the music entertainment. Older generations are at a wedding typically to socialize with their family and friends. If they cannot hear each other talk, an unhappy situation may occur. So, if by choice, seat the young at heart near the wedding party but away from the entertainer's speakers. 

Don't have one particular type of music. There are many different types of people in the world. And yes, they include your family and friends. For example, the bride and groom may love country music. It doesn't mean you have to play country music the whole night. There is a lot of celebration music besides what you like. 

Start the food line or meal as soon as possible. Guests plan their meal times the day of your wedding around your reception. Guests will not eat a big meal before your wedding because they know they will be eating at your reception. Don't starve them. 

Know what it will cost you if the reception goes into overtime. Ask the reception facility exactly how long you have the hall to rent and what time you must be out. Please allow time for cleanup if you are the ones doing it. What is the overtime charge for the facility, music entertainment, photography, etc? 

Greet and say hello to all your guests. Finally and most importantly, greet all your guests. Make an effort to have a conversation with each and every person. They are there to celebrate your marriage. Give them the common courtesy of thanking them for coming to your wedding.


http://www.weddingmuseum.com/tools/reception-mistakes.htm

7 Stupid Wedding Mistakes Even Smart Couples Make

What in the world could they have been thinking?"

Definitely words you DON’T want to hear your guests uttering at your wedding. But despite your best intentions, sometimes things slip through the cracks. Sometimes you make a really silly mistake that, if you had just stopped and thought about it for a few minutes, never would have happened. The problem is that many brides and grooms are so darn busy trying to manage everything else that’s going on – from housing out-of-town guests to dealing with last-minute cancellations or additions to the guest list -- they simply overlook the obvious. That’s when smart people wind up making really stupid mistakes. Here are seven common slip-ups that can ruin an otherwise perfect ceremony.

1. Failing to Thank the Guests

They came to the wedding. They brought gifts. They stopped and congratulated you and took time out of their busy lives to help you celebrate the joining of you and your beloved in a new life together. Don’t leave the reception hall without saying thank you!

2. Speaking While Intoxicated

This one should be a new form of misdemeanor. If your wedding traditions include the bride or groom making a speech to the assembled guests, do it before you enjoy the free bar. You’ll be thankful later when you watch the wedding videos, and you won’t have to apologize to people you don’t remember insulting.

3. Beware the Infamous "Wardrobe Malfunction"

Black underwear, white dress. It was a bad idea in elementary school, and it’s still a bad idea today. Check in a mirror in various lighting situations to make sure that your dress isn’t sheer or invisible in certain conditions prior to the ceremony. If you are renting a tux, check it for rips and make sure you have it fitted before you bring it home. Also, black is the only acceptable color for a tuxedo.

4. Late to the Altar

Not only is this one inconsiderate to the guests and your soon-to-be spouse, but it also wreaks havoc on your vendors. Ice sculptures melt, food gets cold, and photographers lose needed time to pose people and get those still shots for memory albums. The only reason you should ever be late to your own wedding would be something completely beyond your control – like a force of nature.

5. Running out of Food/Drinks

You made the guest list. You know how many people you expect to be there. Running out of food is a good way to make sure your guests feel unappreciated and is inexcusable. This is not the place to save money. Make sure you have enough dinner and drinks for all who are expected to attend; it’s better to throw some away than have hungry guests and nothing to feed them.

6. Know Where the Ring Is Before Walking Down the Aisle

It happens more than you might think. The best man is supposed to be holding the rings, and he leaves them in his other coat. The bride expects them to be brought on a pillow but the ring-bearer is only eight and thought they were golden Barbie doll crowns. Do one more spot check for the rings before you start down the aisle and you won’t have to worry about an awkward moment and a ruined ceremony.

7. Inviting Your "Ex" – Without Telling Anyone

Unless there is an extremely good reason for inviting your ex-boyfriend or ex-wife, don’t do it. It makes everyone uncomfortable. A close corollary to this is not letting members of the wedding party know what your betrothed’s name is (yes, it sounds unbelievable but it DOES happen). If you have not been engaged for a long time, or you recently ended a long-standing relationship prior to your wedding and your wedding party isn’t familiar with your intended, make sure you introduce them. You don’t want to deal with a wedding toast to you and your ex-girlfriend because the best man didn’t know your bride’s name!
http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/

10 Common Mistakes to Avoid When Speaking

How many times have you wished a speaker would finish and sit down? A chairman of the board reporting to constituents, a sales rep trying to interest prospective buyers, or a researcher “informing” the public? Make sure this is never an experience where you are the dreaded speaker. A vibrant, motivating presentation will increase business but requires preparation and practice.

10 Common Mistakes

1. Lack of rapport with the audience- Avoid this by assessing about your audience ahead of time. What is the general age, gender, education level, or job responsibility of your audience? What is their objective as an audience? Are they required to be there? Is this a networking opportunity for them? Do they want to be entertained or informed? What do they have in common? Sometimes you can mingle before your presentation and get to know individuals. Its always easier having friends in the audience.

2. Stiffness in the use of one’s body- Many times I take time out before the program to limber up and get my energy “moving.” I run up and down hallways or do jumping jacks in a bathroom stall letting my arms loosely dangle at my sides. Gestures are important in a presentation- wide sweeping gestures that accentuate what you are speaking about. Be aware of “Velcro arms” that seem attached to the body at the elbow or “egg beater” gestures that stir the air but add nothing.

3. Too intellectual or technical without  involving the audience emotionally- Many times a speaker’s  profound intellectual thoughts are totally lost . Make a point, then follow up with a story or illustration keep the audience’s interest. Everyone listens to stories.

4. Appearing uncomfortable due to fear of failure- A speaker who opens with an apology or an admission of nervousness may lose his or her audience at that point. An apology sets the speaker up as “sorry” while acknowledged nervousness creates uncomfortable energy for the audience.

5. Poor use of eye contact and facial expressions- I once heard an accountant give a presentation regarding tax laws. He used a power point media presentation and stood next to his computer with his eyes staring above the audience’s heads. Not only did he seem disconnected to his audience, but he had no idea if the audience was interested, confused, or asleep.

6. Lack of humor – Not everyone tells jokes well and speakers must learn the skill or quit trying. Personal anecdotes, funny stories, cartoons, props, and skits with the audience energize  a presentation with humor. People love to laugh, nervousness decreases, and the audience is won. 

7. Unclear direction and intent- One of the worst experiences for an audience is to realize that the speaker has no organized outline…just pages and pages of notes.

“That reminds me…”and the speaker goes off on a tangent. A good speaker will tell the audience early on what his or her objectives are, then go into 3 main points, sum up the presentation, and stop.

8. Inability to use silence for impact- Professional speakers  use a dramatic pause to give impact to their presentations. I heard one speaker’s coach tell her to add “gobs of silence” for emphasis. Amateur speakers should avoid run-on  sentences, sentences beginning with “And,” or ending with “OK?”

9. Distracting appearance – Distracting jewelry like dangling earrings, diamond studded watches or belt buckles, and multiple lapel pins  a well as busy plaids or prints and flashy finger nails are some of the distractions that take away from a speaker’s message. Speakers wearing half glasses also risk the chance of appearing condescending. And I’ll never forget the  financial planner who talked in vain  for over an hour while I tried to stifle giggles over 4 places on his face where tiny pieces of  toilet paper stuck to his razor nicks.

 10. Use of verbal garbage- Speakers who fill the air with “uh,” “and uh,”  and  “um”   are taxing to their audience. My brother once counted 50 “uhs” during a teacher’s lecture. He said that listening to her was punishment.  Other speakers habitually use cliches and phrases such as “that sort of thing,” or “you know.”

Prepare your own introduction

 The vibrant speaker prepares his or her own introduction in advance, and arrives early to prepare the room where he or she will be speaking. Chairs might be rearranged or a microphone tested. The speaker then grabs the attention of the audience with a dynamite opening and builds rapport with the audience by interjecting humor and  making references to specific problems or situations the audience relates to. Above all, a good speaker will have practiced his or her presentation thoroughly.

Practice, then practice again

The skill of making a presentation requires practice. Strong presentations enhance all professions building sales and nurturing a customer base. I highly recommend the Toastmasters Clubs in the Piedmont area. Toastmasters, an educational organization, encourages individuals to practice communication and leadership skills using manuals geared to sales, public relations, and general speaking. The impression a speaker makes, whether excellent, run of the mill, or poor, reflects accordingly on the business represented. 

http://www.alligatorqueen.com/id17.html

5 Common Mistakes Businesses Make Online

Welcome to web 2.0 — a world where consumers are online looking for your business.

Most brands realize the importance of engaging online consumers. The companies recognize the buying power online customers represent, but most brands continue to make the same mistakes when engaging online. So what are these mistakes and how can you keep from making them as well?

The Business Doesn’t Invest In Their Website

The most common mistake is the lack of investment in an inviting website. Finding a talented designer may be expensive but when considering the potential ROI, a professional investment can be a smart investment.

Regardless, most companies disregard design best practices and attempt to build a site on their own. These self-created sites tend to suffer from major design flaws: broken flow, ambiguous navigation, and a general lack of professionalism.

Businesses should consider their websites an online store. Would you build a store without first consulting with an architect? Is this the first impression you want your consumers to get?

Consumers are searching online for more information about businesses, looking to a company website before making any buying decisions. Make sure these consumers see a professional website, one that invites them to do business with you.

The Online Marketing Team Doesn’t Have The Right People

Companies often include the wrong people when creating an online marketing team. A successful team will be staffed with web developers, marketers, and content creators; creating a mix of technical ability and marketing understanding.

Online marketing teams require a great deal of autonomy, creating an atmosphere where concepts can be tested and optimized.

Building a team comprised of tech savvy personnel from other departments ensures the department understands the corporate culture as well as the company work flow. Understanding company culture is important because online consumers want to feel connected to the brand. An online strategy should convey the company culture, something a new employee may not fully accept.

Your online marketing team will be your support group. Invest in smart people that are willing to try new things. Internet marketing changes quickly and your team must be agile and flexible enough to stay one step ahead.

Traditional Marketers Dictate Online Marketing Strategy

Although the end goal is the same, traditional marketing and online marketing are two very different beasts. Understanding and employing pull versus push marketing can be difficult for some traditional marketers. A marketing team led by staunch traditional marketers may have a hard time succeeding online.

Online marketing strategies need to be created by someone with either experience in online marketing or a deep understanding of the online culture. Taking advantage of social media marketing requires a paradigm shift in thinking. If your team doesn’t understand the online culture, your online consumers won’t understand you.

Nothing On The Website Is Tested or Optimized

One of the greatest advantages of online marketing is the ability to gather huge amounts of data. We can track and test almost everything and yet most businesses don’t care enough to do it.

Want to know if that button should be green or red or blue? Well with testing you’re able to know which drives the most sales.

Taking advantage of this instant feedback and testing is a corner stone of online marketing. Optimization is taken to new heights when you’re able to collect so much information.

I recommend three tools to help you better understand a site’s visitors: Google Analytics, Google Website Optimizer, and CrazyEgg. You can use Google Website Optimizer’s documentation to better understand how easy it is to test almost any element online.

Moderating Negative Comments

Online consumers demand transparency from brands online. Businesses forget that consumers have become more intelligent and outspoken. If a consumer dislikes something a brand has done, they will say something.

Businesses that remove negative comments or reviews tend to create public relations nightmares for themselves. Consumers like to know that their comments count and that they can trust the brand.

Instead of moderating negative reviews, companies should respond to the consumer and ask how to better their experience. Each review is a customer service opportunity and brands should leverage them to create a better consumer experience.

Conclusion

Businesses can make a number of mistakes when starting with online marketing. Making sure you understand online culture and building a strong support group is in place can help shorten the learning curve.

What are you doing to make sure you don’t make the mistakes others have already? How are you building upon the experiences of other marketers? How are you leveraging your staff and support groups to create an online marketing strategy?

http://samirbalwani.com/social-media-marketing/5-common-mistakes-businesses-online/