Saturday, June 8, 2013

I was raped when I was 21, and I can tell you, Nick Ross - all unwanted sex is a violation, says FERN BRITTON as she hits back at Crimewatch founder's book

Fern Britton teeters into the room on stilt-like stilettos, self-consciously tugging the hem of her skintight Alexander McQueen mini dress. She looks radiant. Seven years after controversially losing five stones with the aid of a gastric band, she still enjoys showing off an hourglass figure.
‘I think it’s important that women are able to dress the way they wish to dress,’ says the former Good Morning television presenter. ‘If I want to wear a short skirt, then I’m going to.’
She is, of course, correct. Simply because a woman wears figure-hugging or revealing clothes, she shouldn’t be accused of  inviting unwelcome attention. And that is a subject with which Fern is all too familiar.

All week an argument has raged over Nick Ross’s controversial remarks in his new book, Crime, serialised in The Mail on Sunday.
Discussing the incendiary issue of rape, he pointed out that ‘not even in the licentious days of Charles II in the 17th Century was it acceptable for women to dress as provocatively as they have done in Western culture since the 1960s.’
Predictably, his analysis provoked outrage – and some degree of support, too – when he reported that, for some women at least, ‘rape isn’t always rape’. 
While the offence is always reprehensible, he said, some women must take a share of responsibility for what happened to them.
Fern, 55, is well-qualified to contribute to this difficult debate. She knows from bitter personal experience the dilemma many women face after suffering the traumatic ordeal of a sexual assault.
At 21 she was raped in her home by a man who had asked her on a date. She didn’t report it to police because she felt she had been at fault.
She chooses her words with care. ‘Nick’s a great guy, but he’s not a woman... he’s not somebody who has been invaded in a way that he didn’t wish to be invaded.The fact is that rape is rape. If you don’t want it, but someone does it against your wish, then it is  a violation.

‘Even if you get a bit drunk or if you go back to the person’s flat, once you say no then it’s no.
‘In my case I was stone cold sober. The man came to my flat and didn’t want to leave, even when I told him to. He was someone I had recently met and who had come to pick me up and take me to dinner.
‘Afterwards I shut down. I didn’t want anyone to know about it. I just wanted to pretend it never happened.’
It was an act of kindness when she was living in Cambridge that led to the terrifying attack.

She had taken two lost dogs to a police station and their owner had obtained her phone number to say thank you.
The man seemed ‘pleasant and nice’ and she accepted his invitation to dine out – twice. On the second occasion he arrived at her flat to pick her up bearing two bottles of champagne. She took them to the fridge and when she returned to the living room, he was doing press-ups wearing only his underwear.
‘My first thought was that it was a joke, but within seconds my ha-ha! turned into Oh God,’ she later wrote.
‘I didn’t have a phone at the flat, mobiles hadn’t been invented, and before I knew what was happening he was up on his feet and trying to kiss me – pushing me against the wall, then down on to the floor. I was absolutely terrified and thought, “I’m done for – what do I do?” She said no, but he overpowered her.
The attack lasted all night and in the morning the man dressed and left. Fern did not speak publicly about it until she included it in her memoirs in 2008.
She didn’t report the attack to the police because she felt she had put herself in a dangerous position by letting a stranger into her flat and because: ‘I didn’t have bruises and he didn’t hit me.’
The trauma remained with her for years. ‘I didn’t  go out with a man  for a very long time. I shut it out, blocked it from my mind and got on with my life. I didn’t tell anyone.
‘Somehow you can still feel guilty. I felt that I should have done something. I think the majority of women who find themselves in a situation where something happens that they didn’t want, even if it was not full-blown rape, they won’t report it.’
It took many years for her to understand that she had been raped and it wasn’t her fault. ‘I didn’t have any therapy. I just put it down to experience, learned from it and moved on,’ she adds.
It’s not a response she advocates for everyone but she says it’s time women stopped seeing themselves simply as victims.
‘We must all take some responsibility for our actions. When you’re very young you don’t know the message you’re sending. You don’t know you’re sexually attractive, but the messages are being received.’
Younger women, she insists, should be aware of how they are perceived and the situations they find themselves in – a point with which, as it happens, Ross would very much agree.
Now the author of seven books – three on cookery, one autobiography and three novels – Fern has concentrated on her writing career since leaving daytime television in 2009.
We meet in a hotel in Powys, Wales, where she is promoting her third fictional work, The Holiday Home, at a literary lunch organised by Good Housekeeping magazine.
She is due back on television this month in a new ITV series, Secrets From The Workhouse, in which celebrities discover ancestors from the wrong side of the tracks. 
Fern was devastated to find out that her maternal great, great, great grandfather, Friend Carter, scraped a living working on the land but was forced to enter the workhouse to get free medical treatment when his son, Jesse, was taken ill.
Jesse was then sent to a teaching hospital, where he died and his body was given up for dissection as the family could not afford a funeral.
She was distraught to learn of her relatives’ struggle to make ends meet and the harsh conditions they faced. Friend Carter found himself back in the workhouse at the age of 91, shortly before he died.

The experience has left her thinking more about her own mortality and the way society views death.  Most people, she says, are in denial about the end of life.
‘We don’t want to talk about it and we don’t plan for it. The trouble is that medicine has told us that we can beat anything, live longer and  stay young forever.’
She thinks death should be embraced and has planned her own funeral. ‘It’s all written down in my will and the kids have been briefed,’ says Fern. ‘After the service, I want to be cremated and my ashes tipped from a speedboat off the coast of Cornwall on a moonlight night out over the waves. The boat and urn must be covered by lots of fairy lights, because I love fairy lights.’
Friend Carter would be proud to know that his descendants went on to prosper.
Sitcom actor Tony Britton is Fern’s father and her mother Ruth was also an actress. Fern’s TV career began as a continuity announcer in Plymouth for Westward TV more than 30 years ago. Since then she has presented BBC’s Breakfast Time, GMTV, London News Network’s London Tonight, Ready Steady Cook and This Morning.
Fern, who is rumoured to have left This Morning after discovering that co-presenter  Phillip Schofield was getting paid more than her, is keen for people to realise she is a more than a friendly, smiling face.
‘People think I’m just a silly old girl next door, but I do have a brain. I’m no Stephen Hawking, but I’m a member of Mensa and I have a doctorate for services to broadcasting from Buckinghamshire New University. All right it’s honorary, but I’m a doctor.’
Such things, she says, give her a ‘quiet internal boost’ because she feels she squandered her years in school and never went to university. It is her family, however, that provides the essential ballast in her life, especially her husband, chef Phil Vickery, 52. They have been married for 13 years and share their sprawling Buckinghamshire home with their daughter Winnie, 11, and Fern’s children by her previous marriage, twins Jack and Harry, 18, and daughter Grace, 16.
The couple met while working on Ready Steady Cook.
‘It was fabulous to have found someone I was hopelessly in love with and who was prepared to take on a divorced woman with three children. He’s very loving, funny and great with the kids. He’s my best mate.’ But does the comfort of domesticity match the excitement of live television? She smiles and replies with a pragmatism that suggests she knew it was time to move on after more than 30 years of daily television appearances.
‘Honestly, I don’t have hunger to return to that. I think that when you’ve had your turn then you’ve got to let somebody else have a turn,’ she says. While agreeing that some men have a longer turn than women, she insists that a lot don’t. 
‘Of course it’s not fair that once women start knocking on a bit their experience is kicked out the door. But then women are usually more pragmatic and we have lives that mean we don’t need the constant attention from work. I’m really still productive in so many other ways.’
Age and life experiences have brought confidence and contentment. But it took Fern many years and much personal anguish to come to terms with the assault she suffered as an innocent young woman. Yet she still thinks her decision not to go to the authorities after her rape was the right one for her.
Secrets From The  Workhouse, ITV, June 25

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