sexual mistakes made by women

Men and women are equally guilty of mistakes when it comes to sex. In addition to money issues, sexual dissatisfaction is among the top reasons why relationships fade. Busy lives, careers, stress and children are other factors that contribute to the sexual downturn of couples. However, it is often one person who is particularly dissatisfied with their sex life because their partner is not as sexually charged as he or she would like them to be.

At the risk of ruffling some feathers, I felt it was time to do a follow up article to “Top 10 sexual mistakes made by men”. However, this time we focus on the most common sexual blunders and faux pas made by women. Remember that it takes two to tango. Communication, trust and sexual variety between partners are always the best ways to avert animosities in the bedroom.

The following is a Top 10 list of things for women to avoid when it comes to sex:

1) Lack of sexual communication: As stated previously in “Women, Please! Just Tell Us What You Want!” Men are not mind readers. We want to satisfy you but all women are different when it comes to the right recipe for ecstasy. It is important for a woman (just as it is for a man) to share their sexual fantasies and desires. Do not be afraid to talk about sex with your partner. Tell your man how to better satisfy you or if there is something new you would like to try. When he gets it right, reward him with moans of pleasure or a naughty grin. In addition, many men find it a turn on when a woman uses a little dirty talk in the bedroom too.

2) Failure to show your sexual energy: Sure, most females were brought up to be “good girls” but when it comes to sex, hang that halo on the bedpost and let him know what a bad girl you can be. Many men view a woman’s lack of sexual drive and energy as her not wanting or enjoying sex. If you enjoy the intimacy you share then show him. Initiate sex more often, moan, thrust and be more assertive when it comes to sex. Most men enjoy it when a woman takes charge on occasion. Push him down on the bed, climb on top and show him what a tigress you can be.

3) Don’t expect him to think like a woman: Sure, most women equate romance with sex. Unlike a woman, men do not always need romance to have sex. In fact, sometimes your man may simply want the physical pleasure of sex without dinner and a movie or an hour of foreplay and heavy petting on the couch. This is not to say that your man is excused from being romantic on occasion, but do not make him “work for it” each and every time. Men enjoy sex and they do not need to be seduced to participate (but we do like that at times too).

4) Failure to experiment or add sexual variety: Simply put, don’t be afraid to try new things. Like food, you do not know if you will like or dislike something until you try. Women can greatly enhance sexual pleasure and reduce boredom in the bedroom by being more adventurous when it comes to sex. I suggest reading “Naughty Ways to Spice Up Your Love Life and Marriage” for some great suggestions to add more variety to your sex life. Go parking or try having sex outdoors. You might try some new adult toys or positions as well. Remember that “Variety is the spice of life and life is what you make of it”.

5) Expecting him to be responsible for your orgasm: This is a belief that can lead to disappointment all around. It is true that there is no greater reward from sex for a male than to bring his partner to climax but sometimes he cannot do it alone. The fact is that, as individuals, we are all responsible for our own orgasm. As a woman, you should not be afraid to touch yourself or use adult sex toys during sex. You can assist by showing him the right way to touch you or telling him “don’t stop!” Even if he finishes before you, that doesn’t mean that you have to stop. Encourage him to help you get there too. Lastly, it is always best to focus on providing pleasure to one another and enjoying the moment rather than thinking about the finale.

6) Using sex as a weapon: This is among the worst things that a woman can do to damage their sexual relationship with their partner. To withhold sex because you did not get your way is cruel and can only hurt your relationship in the long term. Never tell your man that you will deny him sexual pleasure as a means to get what you want!

7) Not having “make up sex” after a spat: Make up sex is some of the best sex a couple can have because it helps the two of you to reconnect and moves both partners past the argument. Sure, many couples have make up sex but even more couples do not. Of those that do, most report their greatest level of passion when they make up by making love. This goes along the same lines as you should never go to bed angry with one another. Besides, it’s always better to make love not war!

8) Being too critical of him: Let’s face it; men communicate more directly than women. Women who often criticize their man are often lacking the ability to communicate directly to convey their thoughts and feelings. This sometimes causes women to lash out and say things that can be hurtful. Men who are routinely criticized by their partner will often withdraw from being romantic and, in turn, their desire for intimacy is reduced. Instead of being overly critical of his shortcomings or mistakes, try talking with him to share your thoughts without throwing verbal daggers.

9) Being TOO gentle with his manhood: This is a common mistake made by many women. When it comes to a man’s penis, do not treat it too gingerly. Fact is that most men prefer a firmer touch than women do. If you have ever had the pleasure of watching him masturbate you will quickly see that he is anything but gentle with his penis. Here again, communication can be very helpful if you are unsure how to handle his penis. Ask him if you are doing things right or have him suggest ways to make it feel better when you touch him. Helpful hint: Use a water based lubricant like K-Y when stroking him lovingly.

10) Not going down: For some couples, oral sex is taboo and not a part of their sexual intimacy. But if your man wants you to fellate him and you are unwilling to do so then it can easily cause aggravation in the bedroom. This is something that you both need to talk about. Tell him how you feel about it but listen to him as well. If you simply cannot make yourself have oral sex with him then suggest other things you can do. If oral sex is not an issue for you, then again, ask him if you are doing it right. Fact is that nearly every man has faced the “wood chipper” at least once in his life. Word of advice: Gently running your teeth over the head can feel good but beyond that…no teeth!

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